


Does it really take two to tango?

by tutseti



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Awkward First Times, Awkward Sexual Situations, F/M, Fluid Sexuality, Icha Icha Series, Implied Sexual Content, Introspection, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-War, Self-Reflection, Sexual Frustration, Sexuality Crisis, Tsunade is still hokage, bibliophile
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2018-10-12 04:42:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10482312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tutseti/pseuds/tutseti
Summary: “When was the last time you got laid?” There was no response to the question. With a heavy sigh and determination the question was asked again. “I’m serious. When was the last time you did the mattress mambo, wet your whistle? My friend, your sexual health and well being is just as important as your mental and physical ones- if not more so.”**Characters and tags may periodically update as the story progresses.**





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of sexuality, what is normal for one person but not for others, and how it can be evolving is something that has always interested me. I am going to be playing around in the Kakashi/Rin sandbox and since I am not hugely familiar with that pairing I will probably unintentionally trample all over it for the sake of this story. If you are offended with how I depict them... sorry but not sorry.

“When was the last time you got laid?” There was no response to the question. With a heavy sigh and determination the question was asked again. “I’m serious. When was the last time you did the mattress mambo, wet your whistle?”

Grey eyes looked up from the current page of reading material. They held a deadpan and very non-amused blankness to them. They stared at the other for a couple seconds before returning to the parchment. The currently plot development between Hiroko-hime and her vagabond savior Jinro was becoming quite suspenseful. He had just rescued her from the clutches of her evil warlord captor just as he was ripping apart her gown. Her bare breasts were bouncing freely as she held onto his hand tightly while running to safety. But Jinro was a gentleman and doing his best not to stare at her rather large and mesmerizing aerosols.

Frustrated, the book was snatched away from the other. The offender, clad in forest green that clung to muscular flesh, frowned. His thick but surprisingly well groomed eyebrows furrowed together and formed a single dark line across his forehead. “My friend, I am serious. Your sexual health and well being is just as important as your mental and physical ones- if not more so.”

“My ‘health’ is just fine, thank you.” He reached out to take back his book. The other man kept it out of his grasp. Frowning he glared at the book thief.

“Please be honest with me. This is important.”

“Fine.” He closed his eyes and sat back in his chair. He hated it when others pried into his personal life, and even more so when he knew it was with only the best of intentions. He couldn’t be mad him for caring but why of all the things did it have to be about this? “Last night.” he said flatly. He then gestured his hand as if wrapping itself around and invisible object before jerking it up and down a few times.

“Kakashi, I was not talking about masturbation!”

“You asked about my sexual health, did you not? Masturbation is an extremely important function of that.”

“True…” Kakashi smirked behind his mask as the other took pause. His brows furrowed again, trying to think of a better response, or one that wouldn’t be able to be countered so easily. “But being in the throws of passion with another person is exhilarating. Not to mention it is a great way to train the body on stamina and endurance, as well as benefit the cardiovascular system.” The toothy grin the other gave caused him to roll his eyes. Leave it to him to find a work benefit in just about everything.

“Look Gai,” He sat up straight and looked at his friend with utter sincerity. That fact was not lost on the other as he gave Kakashi his undivided attention. “Having a sexual partner is more bothersome to me than to not have one at all. It can get messy- physically and emotionally. I don’t need to deal with someone else’s crap in addition to my own, and I’ve just started to _finally_ get a better handle on that. I don’t want a bed fellow. While that’s not unheard of it isn’t commonplace either. I’m okay with it so I would like it if you would at least respect my choice.”

“But Kakashi…”

“Please just drop it.” Quietly he stood up. He reclaimed his book and opened it. He was anxious to return to the plot. He was curious how long Jinro would be able to hold out being a perfect gentleman because his base primal needs started to war with him. And he needed to know who Hiroko-hime would show her gratitude for her rescue. She had come across like a tsundere thus far in the novel but maybe this brush with vulnerability might loosen her up a bit.

Gai didn’t turn around as he started to leave. There was something nagging him though. He didn’t want to say it out loud, fearing the outcome of doing so, but he needed to know. “Is it because of Rin?” His voice was barely a whisper and held a timidness that was very uncharacteristic of the boisterous nature would expected from the specimen of vitality. It caused Kakashi to pause mid-step. His fingers tightened, curling the spine of his novel.

“No.” He kept his tone even and calm. He didn’t want for the other’s response.


	2. Chapter 2

He couldn’t be mad at his friend for asking- it was a logical conclusion to make. There were only two people alive that would even know enough information about his life to even consider asking about her. Gai was one of those people, Tenzou being the other. He wasn’t upset that the question was asked but the subject itself was still a sore spot for him.

Kakashi had never felt anything for Rin- romantic nor sexual. She was his teammate and therefore it was out of the question. Also he was so focused on living up to the expectations place on his tiny young shoulder that he never once even thought about sex, sexuality, attraction or anything remotely related. He focused on being a shinobi and nothing else. For many years he blamed his father’s death for that.

He wasn’t oblivious though. He knew Rin had feelings for him. He could see it in the way she would talk to him privately and how it was drastically different than when Obito was around, or even Minato-sensei. They were both aware of how the Uchiha felt about her. She made sure to never do anything that would disrupt the harmony of their team when they were all together. However Kakashi noticed that she would linger around him slightly longer before departing, always blushed whenever she handed him the special medical kit she prepared for him, and always insisted on including him whenever Obito would want to spend time with her away from the watchful eyes of Minato-sensei. She brushed it off as wanting it to be team building and bonding outside of training but Kakashi knew what it truly was- she never wanted to be alone with him but didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

Kakashi’s mistake was the same- he didn’t want to hurt  _ her _ feelings. The yellow flash was constantly reminding him that words carried more weight than steel, that they needed to be chosen carefully said with tact. He never wanted to lead her on because he didn’t see her was anything other than a medi-nin, but he was also still very much a child mentally and unaware that everything he was trying not to do was not what he was  _ actually _ doing. 

It had started when they returned home after the mission that had killed their teammate. They were both deeply distraught for very different reason. Rin had just lost her teammate. Kakashi had just let his best friend die under his command and now had a constant reminder every time he looked in the mirror. Their jounin instructor was forced to part ways and handle mourning in his own way. She had looked at him with those pleading large eyes and the fingers that had given him that reminder were tightly clasped around his wrist. He couldn’t say no. He didn’t know how.

The body’s physical response to stimuli sometimes works freely and contrary to the mind. He was not attracted to her.Her frame was small as were her breasts. She was thin and plain. Physically there was nothing remarkable about her. Quite frankly, at that point in his life he wasn’t attracted to anyone. When her lips pressed against his he didn’t feel sparks or anything life altering. His body reacted to her touches and he only imitated acts that he had read about in medical journals. He remained silent as her hands caressed his bare flesh, stroked him into arousal. And he reciprocated- let his tongue explore her mouth, hands fondled and squeezed her breasts, teeth biting and sucking on her nipples. When she would make a sound or a moan, excellerate her breathing, sweat as her skin became flushed, he would do it again. He would do everything she asked and pleaded for. They were both mourning. She yearned for closeness and contact with the person she was in love with. He just wanted to forget for a brief moment even though he never could, so instead he settled for comforting his remaining teammate however she wanted. 

If there was one thing that Kakashi could be both praised and faulted for it was that- his fierce loyalty.

He knew keeping up a sexual relationship with Rin had crossed a line. Minato never said anything to him directly but he knew his sensei was not ignorant to the situation. To those outside of their cell Rin’s clinginess could just be attributed to the loss of Obito, their comrade. His death was indeed a catalyst but it was Kakashi’s fault for continuing to give her hope, for leading her on unintentionally. That was why her death hit him the hardest. He was filled with so much regret when it came to her. Not only had he been the cause of the death of another teammate, this time by his own hand instead of his arrogance, but it was what she said with her dying breaths that hurt worst of all.

  
_ “I knew you never loved me. You let me love you and that was enough for me.” _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried to use an Anbu name that I didn't think was officially in use in cannon or fandom. If it does belong to an actual character please let me know so that I can change it.This should just be a random Anbu member.

_ They had been running for a couple hours non-stop. This was a type of vigorous activity Hiroko was not at all accustomed to. Royal women of the court did not run. They did not sweat. They were often carried or driven around by carriage. And they most certainly did not mingle with roughians… even if they were tall, extremely handsome, and had just saved them from having their chastity defiled by the leader of a rival kingdom. _

_ Her feet were hurting badly. At some point she had lost one of her finely embroidered slippers. When she had whined and demanded that they retrieve it, Jinro simple removed her other shoe and tossed it across the forest. _

_ “How dare you!” She used her most stern voice. Whenever she would use it on her servants she was always able to get what she wanted. “Those were a present from the Grand Duke for my most recent name day! I demand that you fetch it immediately and then set about in search of the missing other!” _

_ “I don’t care if they were made from horse shit.” Her eyes light up in offense at his brash tone. She started to prickle and such in air to yell but he stopped her. He pulled her forward and held her flush against his broad chest, hand clasped over her mouth. Hot breath ghosted against her ear and she shivered. “We have to keep moving. We’re still in enemy territory so it isn’t safe yet. If your shoes are more important than your life then please, your highness, go search for them yourself.” _

“Senpai.”

_ She was angry at being told what to do by such a lowly commoner. However the warmth of his body against hers and his muscular arms holding her tightly drain all her fight from her. Instead her skin felt alive and dancing with electricity. She relaxed against him as if her body sighed. Slowly he pulled away and she pouted at the loss. _

_ “We just need to go a couple more miles and then we’ll find shelter for the night. That should put enough distance between us and them for now.” _

“Senpai!”

Kakashi looked up from his book, annoyance clearly written on the part of his face that was exposed, which wasn’t very much. He sighed and put a mark in his book before closing it. He blankly stared at the other, expectant to know why he was being disturbed.

“Hyena has been asking about you.”

Really? This was why he forced to stop reading? He continued to stare at his friend. Unlike Gai who sometimes didn’t know better, he knew for a fact Tenzou did. The man wouldn’t bother him over trivial matters but apparently the universe decided to forget itself today. “And your reason for telling about something I clearly don’t care about is what exactly?”

“He wants to meet up with you again.”

Kakashi didn’t give him a response. He simply picked up his book. Before he could reopen it the younger man placed his hand on the cover.

“I know you don’t care and normally I wouldn’t even bother bringing this up but it’s serious. I wanted to let you know first and decide how you want to handle it before I get the hokage involved.”

Hyena, like Tenzou, idolized Kakashi. Well, he idolized Hound. But unlike Tenzou, his adoration was more in a lustful fanciful way then respect. While Tenzou would regard the stories of his feats as those of a man of superior skill one could learn from Hyena viewed him as a rockstar and wanted to be the center of his attention. Or in Kakashi’s eyes the man was a groupie who wanted to fuck Hound and the idea of him.

He thought that by he giving him exactly what he wanted that would be the end of it.. Up until that point he had been able to ignore any of Hyena’s advances. It had been on a rather boring surveillance mission and he just wanted the other to stop talking. So he let the young man suck him off while he still kept watch. It was a horrible blow job. It had too much teeth and not enough suction. Kakashi found watching the specs of dust in the air far more entertaining. Thankfully their target decided to make their move and force Hyena to halt. Even he had been sexually attracted to the other (which he so obviously wasn’t) there was no way he was going to get off from that bullshit the man considered the blow job that would rock Hound’s world. When they returned home Kakashi may have put in a request to the Hokage to not be paired with him again.

“I thought he was still in the capitol playing escort.”

“That was over a year ago, senpai.”

“Oh.” Realizing that he would not be resuming his reading any time soon, he put away his novel and sat back. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Wasn’t he… dating someone?” When Kakashi left anbu he was technically not to have any contact with his former teammates as an insurance to protect their anonymity. Kakashi only used that rule with Hyena. Everyone else kept up the appearance of not being in touch because of that.

“He was until recently… when she dumped him.” Yamato sighed heavily, looking defeated. “Apparently rumor is he said your name during sex with her. Actually he said Hound but that’s because he still is in the dark about who you are.”

He groaned loudly and ran his hands through his hair. The last thing he needed was dealing with that man again. He was on the borderline of stalker, and in their profession to call a fellow ninja one said a lot about the person in question. “Can’t you just tell him that I died or something?”

“You know he won’t believe that.”

“Then… make up something about me dating someone?”

Tenzou was now the one to stare blankly. “I am not cleaning up your mess. Senpai, why can’t you just flat out reject him?” He waited for him to answer. He continued to look at his friend. When it became clear that the other was not willing to respond, he slumped his shoulders. “I’ll inform Tsunade-sama.”


	4. Chapter 4

Receiving a summons to the Hokage Tower wasn’t an odd occurrence for him. He’s had messenger birds and anbu find him at all hours of the day and night. Sometimes he would be at home, more often at the memorial stone, or in this instance sitting on a rather thick branch of the large cherry blossom tree located near the rear of the academy courtyard. It gave the perfect line of site into one of the classroom- one with a teacher notorious for his passionate lectures- but that wasn’t why this was his favorite reading spot. No, the canopy of the tree when in bloom created this blanket of soft pinks and whites that he could surround himself in. It would shield him and provide a tranquility that he craved, allowing him to become lost in his reading material for hours on end without a care in the world. He loved that the foliage was so voluminous that he could hide among the flowers and no one would be the wiser, leaving him to his own little world and fiction and the occasional snicker overhearing the subject of that notorious sensei’s latest lecture.

So he was shocked when he felt tapping on the sturdy trunk, the vibrations gently rousing him from his latest indulgence. Jinro had just led Hiroko-hime to a cave that was hidden behind a waterfall, nestled in a lush cove. He had to hand it to Jiraiya because the man was a master for prose when it came to describing scenery. He wanted to be in that cove himself and bask in the rays of warmth from the sun shining down. Sighing heavily he looked down at the source of the disturbance, surprised to find that teacher looking up at him with hands on his hips. “Yes? Iruka-sensei, was it?” His voice drawled lazily in his normal manner. He knew who the other was, how could he not. The man was a legendary terror for perfection in the mission’s room (a particular wrath Kakashi enjoyed provoking), but above all else Naruto never shut up about the man. How awesome Iruka-sensei was about this, how amazing he was about that, the one time Iruka-sensei… blah blah blah.

However he was unable to hear what the other was saying. The pastel colors seemed to form a soft glow around the darker skinned man. The breeze blew gently and a few petals danced past him, some landing in his chestnut locks. He was in awe and felt his chest start to tighten, his heart beating fast. Internally he was so confused because he had never felt like this before and he didn’t know what it was. He wanted to reach down and touch his hair, wondering if it was just as soft as the blossoms.

“Why do I even bother trying to be civil with you if you’re not even listening.”

He blinked a few times as he came back out of his dreamy haze. “I’m sorry sensei, I was just mesmerized by how nicely the color of the leaves contrast and compliment your skin tone at the same time.”

Now it was Iruka’s turn to blink and stare at him in confusion. “Wh-what?” A small blush spread across his face and it made Kakashi’s heart pound against his chest. If it wasn’t that he didn’t want to cause the other any alarm he would clutch his chest in pain. That’s what this was but it was nothing like the injuries of battle. There was no visible wound.

“What?” He repeated like a parrot. He was surprised that he had actually said what he had been thinking. He tried to stay calm but all he wanted to do was run and hide, to curl into a ball and wait for his all to pass.

Iruka shook his head and rubbed at his nose. The action was extremely cute and it made Kakashi grin behind his mask.  _ Wait, did I just think he was cute? Iruka-sensei? What the fuck?! _

“I said, Kakashi-san, that Tsunade-sama’s little pal Tonton came by my classroom a few moments ago. I was a bit confused at first why she would come, but she had a scroll with her and kept looking at the window, mainly at this tree. Of course my students wanted to play with her so that’s what they’re doing while I hand this over to you.”

He held out the scroll. It was closed with the wax seal of the office of the hokage. Like a cat Kakashi’s stretched and slid down from his perch. He landed soundlessly next to the other. He felt his heart racing even more being this close to the man, seeing in better detail how the scar across his nose was raised and slightly lighter in color, how his eyes were more almond in color than the dark hazel he assumed they were. His eyes kept going back to the man’s lower lip and how it was slightly more plump than his upper one. He wondered what they felt like…

“Is something the matter, Kakashi-san?”

He blinked again. He was doing that a lot in such a short span of time. He closed his eyes and rubbed the back of his head. “Everything’s just dandy, sensei. Just distracted by all this beauty around me.” His body seemed to move around on its own. His hand reached out and plucked the petals that had landed in the man’s hair. Seeing the other look away made him realize how much closer he had move towards him. He quickly took the scroll and before he could make the situation anymore awkward he teleported away.

 

He didn’t even bother reading the scroll, assuming it was a missive, when he appeared just outside Tsunade’s office. The anbu sentry were a little startled at first but relaxed their defenses when they realized it was just him. One knocked a series of 4 times before opening the door. Kakashi entered and didn’t wait for the door to shut behind him.

“The brat’s on time. This is a first. Maybe I need to send Tonton out more often.” Her amber eyes gleamed with mischief.

“You can thank Iruka-sensei. Your piglet only told him where to find me.” 

“Iruka-sensei, huh?” She rested her elbow and the desk and leaned forward. The grin of her face was more devilish than the look in her eyes. “That is certainly interesting.”

He was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable and nervous. He had no idea what she was plotting but he knew it was something. And with the surprising absence of Shizune in the room only seemed to emphasize this to him. He tried to stay as neutral and bored looking per usual. If she saw any weakness he knew she’d exploit it simply for her own twisted amusement. 

“You summoned me for a mission.”

The laugh in response was completely unexpected. It was the cackling of an old lady who had just heard the funniest thing in ages. And of course, she was an old lady but only Naruto dared to say that outline without consequence. “You clearly didn’t open the scroll.” As if on cue he broke the seal and unrolled the parchment. He stared at it in confusion, looked over at her, and then back down at the paper.

“It’s blank.”

“Thank you for that wonderful deduction, Captain Obvious. Of course it’s blank.” Seeing that he was still confused she sighed. “I summoned you here under the false pretense of a mission just to get you in her. But why is not as that of your Hokage, but as a medical professional.”

Grey eyes narrowed. He did not like where this was suddenly headed. He internally counted down from 10 as to not suddenly get angry. He had a strong suspicion as to why she was talking him as a medic and not a hokage. He hoped he was wrong but he knew that he wasn’t. He loved his friends dearly but they needed to learn when to leave well enough alone.

“Some very concerned comrades have broached a delicate subject to me in regards to your health. I’m not going to dance around the subject. They’re worried about your sex life, or in their mind lack thereof. You and I both know there are more important things to worry about but let’s humor the little ninnies, shall we?” 

She gestured to the chair in front of her desk. He slumped into the chair, clearly looking annoyed and defeated all at once. “I keep telling them repeatedly that I’m fine. Emphasis on the word repeatedly.”

“When you are with another person, do you feel anything towards them? Obviously your body has a physical response but that’s not what I’m concerned with. Does your heart flutter, your pulse race? Do you feel overwhelm with a desire to be with them or have make you theirs?” Not getting a response she continued. “Have you heard of Asexuality? It’s not commonplace and there are many who can’t or won’t understand it, and often think having no sexual desire is a bad thing. It’s not. Asexuality is very real and very healthy. Some people are wired with sexual desire and some just aren’t.”

He was about to get up, thinking he was free to go. However he was forced to stop when Tsunade spoke again. “But I want you to seriously think about something. Have you ever looked at someone and thought that they were the most beautiful or handsome person you had ever laid eyes upon?”

  
Why did his mind suddenly flash that image of Iruka under the cherry tree.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there is an inconsistent length with the chapters- some far shorter than the others.There is no rhyme or reason, only making each chapter the length I feel appropriate for each progression of the story. Thank you for understanding and tolerating my bizarre madness. ^_^"

_ Jinrou removed his jacket and handed it to Hiroko. “Here.” he said, looking at the cave wall as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. “You can borrow this until I can get you some new clothing.” _

_ She could not hide the blush that spread across her delicate features. She had been so focused on her shoes that she completely forgot that her clothing was in tatters, that her breasts were exposed. Gingerly she took the jacket. _

_ “Did you look?” she found herself asking. She was genuinely curious. He was a man, after all, and they were visual creatures.  _

_ “No, princess. After what you have been through I thought it would be rude.” _

_ Maybe it was the adrenaline in her system from her ordeal, or maybe because he was the first person to ever be truly honest with her because all she wanted at that moment was for him to turn around and look at her. To truly see her as a woman and not some posh royal snob. _

_ “I don’t mind if you look. It would be rude if you didn’t. Only from you though…” _

 

Kakashi closed his book in frustration. He let it fall onto his bed and looked up at his ceiling. He couldn’t focus on his book as everything from his meeting with Tsunade was racing through his mind. Asexuality… it so of made sense. He never got any pleasure from any of his sexual partners- man or woman. Sure his body responded and ejaculated from the stimuli but he was never present in the moment, like it would leave his body or be an autonomous robot and go through the motions. He had no emotional or lustful investment so that made sense. He never sought out sexual companionship; they found him and he only conceded to humor them. 

Even when he would jerk off it wasn’t because he felt horny or wanted it. It was when his body would tell him that it needed to release. He would shut down, usually in the shower to save time on cleaning, and just stroke himself until he came. He didn’t think of anything or anyone specific. Sure for a long time in his youth he wondered if something was wrong with him because he even though he wasn’t opposed to either gender he felt no attraction to them. Eventually he just assumed this was another part of him that was fucked up, locked it away in his mind and continued on like it was another normal day… well, normal for him at least. Tsunade’s words did give him some comfort in the fact that maybe he wasn’t so messed up in this area.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Iruka.

He growled and fought with his blankets. He kicked his legs and flailed his arms as he wrestled with the fabric until he balled them up and threw them on the ground. Every time his mind recreated that vision of the younger man under the cherry tree he felt his body tense. He was feeling restless, his skin felt alive and overly sensitive. He felt flushed and almost feverish as he remembered the soft glow that surrounded him.

He closed his eyes and bit down on his bottom lip. He tossed and sucked in breath through his teeth as he pictured the rosy blush across caramel colored skin. He started to pant and groan. His hand trailed down his chest. He remembered those rich umber eyes and how they were sparkling in the sunlight. His lips and how they seemed that they would be incredibly soft against his own. Kakashi’s toes curled and back arched as he groped the front of his sleeping pants. He thrashed around the more he thought of the other. 

Just as quickly as it started he felt his body jerk forward and an intense wave of warmth wash over him. A euphoria enveloped him and he moaned. He suddenly felt extremely calm and more relaxed than he could ever recall. He felt something wet against his hand. He peered down and saw a giant wet strain. He rested his head back against the pillow and made a petulant whine.

  
_ Well… fuck. _


	6. Chapter 6

He was not happy having been summoned to Tsunade’s office with yet another blank scroll in less than 24 hours. He didn't even bother knocking or waiting for permission to enter. He stormed inside and tossed the rolled parchment onto her desk.

“What the hell is it this time?” He did not even attempt to be polite nor hide his annoyance. The sannin looked up from the mission report she had been currently reading and stared blankly at him.

“Yes brat, please come in.” Her voice mocked him and dripped with sarcasm. “Why don't I just drop everything and trying remotely important just to find out why your panties are in a twist.” Kakashi narrowed his eyes and glared at her. He sent her a death stare, clear evidence that he was not amused. She rolled her eyes and set aside the file. “You’re going to counseling.”

The man audibly balked at her statement. He blinked at stared at her like she was a substitution. “No i’m not. I’m fine. You even said so yourself.”

“I did and I still stand by that.”

He growled in frustration. “Then What the hell?!” He crossed his arms. “You are not sticking electrodes to my dick and shocking me. Fuck you for even thinking that!” This had to have been the first time he talked back to her, at least in such a defiant tone. He didn't know where this was coming from or why but he clearly did not like it.

The hokage rose to her feet. She slammed both hands onto the mahogany surface of her desk. “Hatake-san! Sit your ass down now!” Her ruby red nails dug into the wood, leaving slight claw marks. The scratching sound sent a grotesque chill down his spine. He still glared at her but he did as he was told. He was a good shinobi like that.

Tsunade took a few deep breaths to calm herself before she resume her seat. She pushed a few loose strands of hair behind her ear before looking at him. Her face softened a little. “I am sending you to talk therapy. We have a group where fellow shinobi can come together without judgements and be around others with similar or different sexual habits that the general populace deem ‘not normal’. Some are there because they have a legitimate problem. There are also those who go for validation and acceptance. That is why I want you to go. You are not alone.”

Kakashi sighed and visibly slumped in his chair. His posture looked like a pouting child who wanted to throw a temper tantrum and lost steam to continue, but refused to admit it due to pride. He couldn't bring himself to look over at her. “Is this an order as medic or hokage?”

“Both. You won't go otherwise.”

“You’re not wrong about that.”

“If it makes you feel better, Gai is not allowed anywhere near this. Hell he has no knowledge that it even exists. This group is about privacy and acceptance. While he is enthusiastic about all aspects of health he’s extremely black and white it regards to sexual deviation and doesn't see the shades of grey, hence why i’m forced to talk to you about a non-issue. I am so glad he isn't a medi-nin.”

Hearing that was actually a great relief to him. He loved the taijutsu master dearly but just based on the fact that he was obsessed with the fact that Kakashi did not have an active sex life nor understand and accept that he was content without one spoke volumes. He wasn't comfortable with the idea of speaking to anyone about this subject but at least whoever it was that would be the facilitating was bond to be far more sympathetic.

  
Later that evening Kakashi stood in the corner of a meeting room inside the hospital. It was set up to look more like a lounge with upholstered chairs and two person sofas, a table set up in the back with light refreshments. He looked around at all the other ninja present in the room. He wasn't surprised to see Ebisu or Sai, there were some faces he didn't recognize, and others he wouldn't have expected like Ten Ten and Aoba.

He guessed from Shizune’s presence there that she would be the one holding the session. He looked at the clock on the wall, praying the seconds would move faster. Tsunade may have ordered him to attend but that didn't mean he had to talk, let alone stay the entire time. He figured he would give it a lot least a good 30 minutes before making up some excuse about Pakkun needing his diaper changed and bolting.

Aoba had just started to talk about some progress he had made being able to allow himself to remove his glasses during foreplay when the door to the room open.

“Seriously, why would Tsunade-sama want to have a one on one meeting about basic first aid training at the academy here instead of in her off...ice…” Everyone looked over to see Iruka in the doorway with Anko Beside him. The man’s eyes almost popped out of his head and he had a sheer look of horror on his face. Clearly the man had been brought over under false pretense. It quickly switched to anger when he looked over at his companion. “Oh hell no!” The chuunin turned on his heel and tried to storm out but the kunoichi blocked his path.

“Nuh-uh Ruki-poo.” She cooed. “You need to be here. And if I think you need to be here then you’ve got a serious problem.”

“Getting laid and liking it is not a problem!” He shouted.

“Yes it is when I have to go searching for you in hungover orgy piles when you aren't teaching or on desk duty.” She touched his cheeks. “I didn't have a support system like this so I don't want you fucking up like I did. please just do this for me. Okay fishy mcfish face?”

He glared at Anko before letting her drag him to sit with her on one of the sofas. His brown eyes met Kakashi and the jounin felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over him. Iruka flushed and quickly looked away. Shizune cleared her throat before encouraging Aoba to resume where he had left off.

Kakashi didn't contribute and nor did Shizune ask him to. She simply smiled at him and thank him for coming when the meeting had concluded. Iruka didn't share either, clearly too embarrassed and upset at his friend for lying to him. He did however let her drag him over to the snack table, her fingers around his wrist like a vice grip. She grinned as they neared the coffee, which also happened to be near where Kakashi was currently standing.

“So, The boss lady finally got enough complaints about you reading porn in public I see.” She cackled. When he shook his head she looked at him curiously. “Damn! Ooh watch him while I go ask Sai about something before he bolts.” She pulled Iruka forward towards Kakashi. “Don't let him leave until I get back. I promised everyone that he would behave tonight and have a chaperone.”

Both men said nothing as they watched her chase down the former root operative. The silence around them was thick and felt like it stretched on for hours when it was only actually just a few seconds. Kakashi felt his nervous in edge and his gloved palms starting to sweat. He never felt this way around the other before so he couldn't understand why that was happening now all of a sudden.

“Why are you here?” Kakashi blinked as he heard the question. Iruka studied him and it felt like those dark orbs were looking into his very core. “If it’s not because of the porn, I mean.”

“I don't always read erotica.” He wasn't sure why but Kakashi Suddenly felt the need to clarify this, to let the other know that there was more to him than what he was most known for that didn't involve killing. “I change out covers so people think that’s all I read. Less likely to interrupt.”

The other laughed. The sound was rich and velvet. It was like music to his ears. “Being a bibliophile wouldn't be a reason to have Tsunade-sama force you to be here. If that were the case I wouldn't have been here ages ago. I’m pretty sure she ordered you here since you never struck me as the volunteer to share feelings type.”

“Bibliophile?”

“Lover of books. Doesn't always mean actually being in love with them but just love reading. Now that I think about it, being a bibliophile suits you very much.” Iruka grinned at him and Kakashi felt his stomach doing flips. He had eaten beforehand so he wasn't sure why it was suddenly in knots. “So, if it’s not a book fetish what are you doing here?”

“I want to ask you the same question.” Kakashi loved being able to deflect. He hated having to answer personal question, but he really was uncomfortable sharing with Iruka. He found himself suddenly caring about how the younger man would view him if he told him. He never cared about how he was perceived and still didn't... well for anyone that wasn't him. This was a maddening feeling.

“I asked you first.” There was a devilish glee in his eyes and it made something powerful grip Kakashi. His body tingled and an intense wave of heat ran down his spine. It made him fidget and he liked it, whatever it was. “Just not here. I know she meant well but these types of groups were never my thing. I’m more comfortable one on one with a few drinks. Sound like a plan?”

The idea of leaving both excited and terrified him. He desperately wanted to get out of there as well as just continue to be around the other, but it was the fact that he would be alone with the other and wanted that that frightened him. “What about your friend?”

The look in his eyes was matched with an equally mischievous smirk. Kakashi felt like he was going to melt. “She’ll pout and whine and i’ll buy her dango. Don't worry about her. So, wanna come over to my place?”


	7. Chapter 7

The last thing Kakashi had ever expected was to find himself seated on the floor of someone else’s living room with a bottle of sake on the low table between them. If someone had told him that it would belong to Iruka he would have thought they were insane. And yet there he was staring at the bottle and feeling very uncomfortable. He trained his gaze to be fixated on the ceramic carafe and not on the other. Iruka had removed his vest and lounged half sprawled on the floor. His hair was free of its tie, the coffee tresses cascading down to fall against his shoulders. Kakashi was suddenly finding himself mad at said accessory for ever holding such luscious locks captive. He never once thought it possible to be jealous of an inanimate object until that very moment. He was staring, or at least wanting to, because the other looked like a completely different person and he felt bewitched.

It wasn’t that the two were complete strangers. They were friendly enough. They ran in two different circles, had two vastly different lives, and their only common link had been Naruto. Now that both were no longer his teacher they had no real reason to interact outside of the occasional greeting or mission room spectacle. Kakashi had always enjoyed antagonizing the instructor and he secretly thought Iruka got a thrill from it as well. At least that was what he told himself when he would constantly up the ante in ridiculousness each time.

The celebrated jounin looked up when he heard the other exhale. He watched the other roll over, turning his back to him. “Just drink already. I promise not to peak.” Kakashi was a bit shocked that the other was going out of his way to respect his quirk. He felt his breath catch in his throat and suddenly the fabric of his mask was suffocating him. He quickly pulled it down and tipped back his entire cup. The alcohol was warm and had a pleasant burn going down. His eyes began lingering on the other’s backside. His butt was surprisingly round and filled out his uniform pants nicely. Why hadn’t he noticed it before? He felt his tongue gliding over his lips the longer he stared; a desire to grab it and discover how the flesh molded into his palm hit him harder than the Akimichi clan’s human bullet technique.  He quickly poured himself another drink and gulped it before replacing his mask.

“Ok, sensei.”

The younger man rolled back over and grinned. “Just Iruka. Since Anko decided to broadcast my dirty little secret and you promised to tell me yours, we might as well be on a first name basis. At least I don’t mind you dropping the title.” He winked at Kakashi and sipped his drink.

Kakashi felt feverish. This was a whole different side to the other he was not used to. He already assumed there was more to the man than the perfect example he set for his students and demanded in the mission room. Judging from his close circle of friends alone meant that he couldn’t be uptight all the time. He didn’t really know Kotetsu and Izumo all that well but he certainly knew Anko and Genma. Those two did not like to hang out with “squares” on a regular basis. They were eccentrics that passionately embraced life and made it their bitch.

“Kakashi is fine, Iruka-sen… I mean Iruka…”

“So I’ll share first about why Anko dragged me to her little harmony circle. Maybe that will help you relax a bit.” He took another sip. “I enjoy sex. It doesn’t matter if it’s with a man or woman, if I’m penetrating them or they’re the ones fucking me.” He grinned at he looked at the other. Kakashi did his best not to squirm. He suddenly felt like a wild gazelle and Iruka was the hungry lion waiting to pounce. “I have a freakishly overactive libido and masturbation doesn’t always do it for me the way feeling another’s flesh against mine, hearing them moan, our bodies grinding and sweat mixing.”

Iruka finished his cup and poured himself another. Kakashi couldn’t help but be dumbfounded. He saw the other raise their eyebrow questioningly and he quickly shook his head. “I don’t see what’s so wrong with that to warrant dragging you to that meeting.”

The velvet laugh returned and Kakashi closed his eyes. He was quickly falling in love with that sound and decided he could never tire of hearing it. “I know exactly why she did what she did and why it’s worrying her.” He paused for a moment. The sly nymph faded as he stared at his cup. He took a deep breath and sighed, a faint blush and sadness waving over him. “I’m lonely. Sure I have friends and we have a good time, but that’s not the type of companionship I’m desperately craving. I’m seeking out sex and using it to fill this deep dark empty hole I feel inside. And yet… I’m terrified to be vulnerable enough and let someone in. I feel like if I do that and then things go wrong I won’t be able to come back from that. So being shallow by having meaningless sex is easier and avoids the issue all together. I'm careful about it too. I use protection, I get tested constantly and I always say no if I get a sketchy vibe. She just being overprotective because she doesn't want me to get hurt like he had been.”

He found himself scooting closer to the other. A deep desire to comfort him took over but he stopped himself. He looked up at the ceiling and closed his grey eyes. “At least you didn’t have Gai complaining to Tsunade about your lack of a sex life.” He peaked open an eye and watched as Iruka sat up. His face was in complete shock.

“You’re kidding! You are definitely kidding, aren’t you?”

He shook his head. “That’s why she sent Tonton. The scroll was blank in order to be discreet.” He held up his drink and stared it. He really wanted to get shit faced drunk if he was going to talk about this purely in hopes that he wouldn’t remember, but in order to do that he would need to make a decision in regards to his mask. “Fuck it.” He yanked down his mask and drank. Once empty he set it down and reached directly for the bottle, foregoing the cup altogether. “Yeah… he thinks my not actively waning to get laid is a bad thing. Tsunade called it a-sexuality, said I was fine, and Gai was wasting her time with it. She just wants me to sing kumbaya with people just as weird.”

He took another drink but stopped mid-sip. Iruka was staring at him, gawking actually. He looked away. He knew the other was focusing in his face, most people did when they saw it. He sucked in air through his teeth. He was going to voice his displeasure when the other giggled.

“You look so… normal!” Iruka reached for the bottle and took a swig of his own. Seeing the other’s confusion he elaborated. “Naruto is convinced you have horse teeth and a baboon’s ass for lips.” He tapped the rim of the bottle again his dark chin. “I must say that little beauty is a rather unexpected surprise.” It took him a moment to realize that Iruka was referring to his mole. A singular silver eyebrow rose to look at him skeptically. In such a short period of time Iruka had shattered every opinion and preconceived notion he had up until that point. He was hoping it was the effects of the alcohol but he found himself fixated on the drop of liquor that clung to the other’s bottom lip. He wanted to take it between his teeth and nibble on it. Yes, it must be the alcohol.

“So a-sexuality, huh?” Iruka held out the bottle for him. He nodded and took it. “You’re not still a virgin, are you? I mean if you never had to have sex on a mission at the very least I will be very impressed.”

“I’ve had sex.”

“Girls? Guys?”

“Both.”

“And you don't feel anything?” When Kakashi shook his head Iruka surprised him yet again that night. He climbed onto his lap, straddling him. Having the other seated on him in such a manner set his skin ablaze. His pulse raced and he did everything he could to stay calm. His nerves tingled with a queer combination excitement and fear. No matter how much he would try not to show the unease he was currently experiencing there was one thing that couldn't remain hidden- he was incredibly hard. His pants felt outrageously too tight and the friction of the uniform fabric rubbing against him was deliciously unbearable. And yet he needed more. He wanted to feel the other touch his erection, stroke it, lick it, suck it, fuck it. There was no possible way that the other would not have noticed it.

“Well, I’m definitely feeling something now.” The voice that purred against his ear caused his breath to hitch. His pupils were blown as they tracked the other’s movements. The bottle was taken away and set on the table before hands removed his forehead protector. “If I were to tell you how incredibly sexy I have secretly always thought you were, grind against you, and kiss you right now you would only be able to just sit there and get no pleasure out of it?”

Kakashi looked away. He wouldn't be lying by saying no because he never got any pleasure or arousal from others. He also felt like that itself would also be a lie. He was clearly experiencing something now. His past understanding of himself and his body was suddenly at war with everything that was flooding his senses. The other’s scent- ink, cloves, and citrus mixed with alcohol- invaded his nostrils. His throat went dry and he was having a hard time swallowing. Fingers touched his chin and turned his head. His slate eyes connected with endless brown pools.

“I never did from others.” His voice wavered and cracked. He was honestly surprised that he was able to speak at all. His tongue felt so heavy and his mouth stuffed with cotton. His body tensed as the other pressed his forehead against his own. His skin burned where they connected.

“You poor thing.” There was genuine sympathy in his voice. He was not mocking him nor giving him pity. Those evil fingers snaked into his hair. The touch caused him to shudder and a tiny whimper escaped his lips. “Not being filled with an all consuming carnal desire to claim another would drive me mad. But it looks like both of us are emotionally fucked up; keeping distance from others in our own way. Personally I don't think you need that group to feel better about yourself or change- if that’s what you even want. But all that’s ultimately your call.”

The chuunin closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “I’m heading to bed. You might think it’s the liquid courage talking, and it’s definitely not hurting, but I wouldn't mind if you joined me. I won't be offended if you don't.” When the other rose to his feet it felt like Kakashi could finally breath properly again. He hadn't realized a giant invisible weight had been lifted the instant the other pulled away. His body felt so cold and was yearning for the other to come back. He sat there frozen as he heard the soft footfalls of the other as they disappeared into another room.


	8. Chapter 8

He stood at his silent vigil in front of the memorial stone. Normally he would do this at dawn when it was calm, the horizon would slowly paint the sky in a warm wash of color and the birds would sing their rising song. He wanted to greet his lost ones so that they were never forgotten and let them know about how his plans the day before went, what he wanted to accomplish, update Minato and Kushina about Naruto, anecdotes and other tidbits of note around the village, as well as ask their advice.

He valued their wisdom the most and that was why he stood there, drunk and silently having a meltdown, shrouded in the veil of night. He had his masked pulled down around his neck and he was having trouble breathing. He was in the midsts of a panic attack- something he hadn’t had since returning home after the mission that stole Rin’s potential away from Konoha. He hands were balled into tight fists shoved inside his pants pockets. His blunt fingernails dug into the worn leather of his gloves. His eyes were staring at the stone but not actually focusing on it. His mind was racing in a frantic mess trying to sort out and understand everything that had happened, was happening.

Normally his conversations with them were never vocalized. He would have hours of dialogue and witty banter all in his mind- even during those times when he had been intoxicated and he turned into a talkative emotional wrecking ball. Tonight was different. He needed to speak. He needed to hear his own voice. It needed to come forth from his throat instead of being squeezed and crushed down inside of him. He was drowning and he needed to gasp for air.

“I don’t know what’s going on… I don’t know what to do. That says a lot because I always have a plan. Even if it’s a stupid one. This time… it’s that teacher, the one Naruto loves so much. Yes Kushina, the dolphin man. Don’t let him hear you call him that because he’ll give you a lecture. Believe me, I know… It’s not like this is my first time seeing him, but it is. I mean…. Fuck! It’s all Gai’s fault! Someone had to take your place Obito in putting up with my bullshit. And he really does have a good heart. He just kept going on and about sex and me not having any. Even if I were I don’t broadcast my details and he knows that. But he went and told godaime! He actually complained to the hokage about this!”

He removed his hands from his pockets and wiped them down over his face. He let out a long, drawn out whine. “I’m feeling things… things I never experienced before. I know you’re sick of hearing it Rin but I’m sorry… I couldn’t feel what you wanted, but maybe I’m feeling it now, with him? For him? Fucking hell! I keep thinking about him for no reason… How rich and soft his skin looks, that I want to smell his hair and run my fingers through it. I want to bite his lips, grab his bubble ass and just… I want to make him scream and beg, hurt him and I want him to do all those to me too.” He pulled at his hair and cried out again. “What is wrong with me?!”

He looked up into the pitch black sky. He let out a rather hysterical laugh. It was dark and all consuming, just like how he felt. There was not a single star twinkling from the heavens. He couldn’t stop. His chest shook as he continued. Tears welled in the corner of his eyes. His voice was softer, like a whimpering pup scared and alone. “Sensei… What is wrong with me?”

 

 

The smell of pine and cedar filled his nostrils. He blinked and opened his eyes before instantly shutting them, regretting the decision. The light was too bright and it hurt. He rolled over and nestled into the soft duvet. He then opened his eyes again once he realized that he wasn’t in his bed. Holding his head he quickly sat up, hoping it would help prevent the world from spinning.

A glass of water was held out in front of him. “Here, senpai.”

Tenzou. Kakashi sighed heavily in relief hearing his friend’s voice. He took the offered glass and drank deeply, his throat feeling parched. The man then offered him two pain relief tablets. He greedily took those and swallowed them as well. He handed the glass back to the other and sat back. “What am I doing here?”

His friend had a slight frown clouding his features “You don’t remember?” The worry in his voice gave Kakashi pause. He tried to recall everything from the previous evening. He remembered Iruka and the ethereal sakura blossoms, Tsunade’s office, going to that support group at the hospital, Iruka and drinking, Iruka in his lap giving him a proposition as well as an out, fear, hesitation, arousal, panic. After that everything was dark and clouded, almost blank.

He sighed and shook his head. “No…” he said with reservation. “I was drinking with Umino-sensei and I must have had too much because I don’t recall anything after.” He scratched the fresh stubble on his bare chin. “Don’t tell me I did something stupid.”

“I wouldn’t say stupid. More like out of character.” His obsidian eyes shined with sympathy. Never pity. They both had survived unorthodox childhoods and vowed to never pity the other. They respected each other’s inner strength and perseverance too much. “I was finishing patrol when I came across you at the memorial. You were talking to yourself out loud. But that wasn’t what caused me concern, senpai. You were crying.” The younger man looked down at his hands that still held the half empty glass. “You reeked of alcohol. I don’t think anyone saw you but I quickly brought you here just in case. I don’t want to pry because I have the upmost respect for you and your need for privacy but something was clearly troubling you last night that wasn’t part of your norm. I’m no psych-nin, nor an avalanche of encouragement like Gai-san, but I am willing to be here for you and listen just as you were for me all those years ago.”

Most people brushed off Tenzou (especially those who only knew him as Yamato) as boring because he was always calm and composed. But Kakashi knew that underneath that serious demeanor was an extremely passionate and caring individual. Both men had been through their own personal hell and came out on the other side of it to warrant sedate exterior facades. But it was when they trusted someone so deeply, and not just with their life because that’s what shinobi automatically did with comrades, that they opened up about the internal pain as well has the hidden joys life experience forced them to guard. Because Tenzou was one of those select few (and still alive amongst that short list) he confided in the man. He told him everything. He couldn’t stop. Once he started it was like the floodgates were destroyed and it all just spilled out of him. He didn’t want to stop. However he did not have an emotional breakdown like the previous night. Though hungover he was far too sober and had his wits about him not to proceed down that rabbit hole once more.

“Senpai, things are not always black and white but also shades of grey. Even with asexuality there are variations within that. Sexuality and identity are not a simple cut and dry matter. There isn’t one exact box for everyone. There are some who do fit in those but honestly most of us just don’t. The hard part is that our society conditions us to believe in only straight or gay- and that’s if you live in a progressive enough community that will accept something more than heterosexuality. Thankfully Konoha is that progressive. With Godaime-sama she has made strides to further that. The acceptance group you mentioned is the fruit of her labor. Sex can be an uncomfortable subject and for those that are questioning, or feel out of sorts as an outlier, support is honestly the best medicine.”

Kakashi genuinely smiled. This was why Tenzou was one of his best friends. The green beast was indeed the other but where he lacked in his counsel Tenzou easily compensated. Where he excelled in cheerful enthusiasm and ridiculous challenges as a form of distraction from the harsh reality of their world, Tenzou’s tranquility and bizarre architecture passion projects helped balance out their universe. Plus having worked together in anbu created an unspoken bond and understanding that only another member of that corps would ever understand. “Why can’t Gai be as considerate as you.”

The younger man’s face took on a cat like grin. “Do you really want his help with this?” His grin grew wider as he watched his superior visible baulk and shudder at the notion. While the thought of the antics again would do to demonstrate his support and how it would make Kakashi uncomfortable was extremely appealing the truth of it would be truly terrifying. “This is why you have me.”


	9. Chapter 9

It took major persuading but Tenzou was able to convince him to attend the support good one more time. Did he secretly agree to do so in hopes of seeing Iruka again and either apologize for running away or see where that road of life would take him? No, that couldn’t possibly be why. Not that his kohai didn’t make a damn good argument about how just being a wallflower in attendance and listening would help him tremendously. Yes, he liked not having to talk. He was never one to share- he felt he was too damaged, plus all but 2 of his confidants were dead. He never felt comfortable revealing his complexes or actual emotions and not just because being a nin at such a young age hardened him like steel. That was one of said complexes.

But he had disclosed information about himself with Iruka, even if it was only in regards to why he had been at that meeting. The teacher’s logic of “you know my dirty laundry, it’s only fair I know yours” was a hard one to discredit. Plus he had been invited into the other’s home so would it have been considered rude to say nothing? More importantly he was surprised how easy it was to disclose to him. Was the alcohol the catalyst? Yes, that’s what he told himself. In no way was it the fact that Iruka never judged him (chastised about his handwriting and sorry state of his mission reports didn’t count) nor treated him differently than anyone else so he could potentially let his guard down and truly be himself. Yes, it was definitely the booze.

He couldn’t understand why he felt disappointed when there was no sign of the academy instructor. There were some of the same people who were present at the previous gathering- Ebisu, Aoba, Ten-Ten and Anko (Sai was on a mission)- as well as a couple others he didn’t know. Seeing Anko there alone without Iruka was a bummer. He felt like he should just up and leave since his main reason for showing up was nowhere in sight but he was already there and the one thing Kakashi always did was follow through once he committed to something.

Just because he was there didn’t mean he had to pay attention. That’s why he was in a back corner, leaning up against the wall. He had his nose buried in his current and much well loved obsession.

 

_“Am I not considered a woman?”_

_Her words startled him from his intense concentration on anything other her exposed beauty. He tensed but shook his head. “Y-yes, your highness. You are indeed that.” He felt nervous suddenly. He hadn’t when he charged into that room at the inn purely because he heard a woman screaming for help. Seeing her held against her will, crying and struggling as her captor was trying mount her made his blood boil. It was only fair and right that he not look upon her in her current undignified state._

_This was his greatest test of strength. She had ample breasts that were pert as a sign of her youth. Her nipples looked succulent and the thought of taking them into his mouth, letting his tongue roll around a precious bud as it hardened made his mouth water and his groin yearn. Her waist curved inwards only to round out with her hips. He forced himself to look away because he feared he would do something he would regret and be no different than that scum lord._

_“Do you not considered me one?”_

_“Yes, your highness. According to the laws of the land you were proclaimed one during your last name day celebration.”_

_“Then why do you avert your eyes as if I were a child?”_

_“It would be wrong.”_

_Hiroko made a loud sound of displeasure. “It is only wrong if I say it as such!” she declared. “Do you find me to be so hideous that the sight of me disgusts you?”_

_“Far from it. Your highness is very beautiful.” He did not lie. Her long ebony locks shone like silk, flowing like dancing water at night whilst they ran. Her hand was soft, fingers slender and laced perfectly with his own. Her lips were not too plump nor too thin and thus gave her the perfect pout that he desired to kiss and to feel against his flesh._

_“My name is not ‘your highness’. It’s Hiroko.” She scooted against the cold stone ground towards him. Jinrou turned his head towards her. His eyes took in her form, lingering on her lips and then her breasts. He swallowed hard and felt his mouth become dry. She inched closer to him, practically climbing into his lap. “I want you to stop treating me like a royal and only as a woman.”_

 

“Kakashi-san, would you like to speak?”

He internally sighed upon hearing Shizune’s soft, polite voice. He was just getting to the good part where Jinrou would learn that even though she had her maidenhood intact Hiroko-hime was not as innocent as she appeared. She did have to thank her savior after all. He felt the eyes of everyone in the room lasering in on him. He wished he could disappear.

“Yeah!” Of course Anko would be the one to chime in. That woman was a demonic nightmare most days, and a holy terror when she was up to no good or wanted something. She shifted to tuck her legs under her and grin at him ‘innocently’.  “Tell us Kakashi-kun, why is it that you’re suddenly here?”

Shizune frowned at the purple haired woman. “Anko, you know the rule. No one is forced to speak.” She smiled at him and her eyes gleamed with an apology. “I thought it only fair to ask if he would like to.”

“I’m good.” was his reply before returning his attention to his book.

He didn’t resume reading, only appearing like he had. It was hard to concentrate with Anko constantly staring at him. It was as if she were trying to will him to change his mind the longer she looked at him. He wasn’t intimidated by her but being her primary focus was extremely uncomfortable. Every once in a while Shizune would clear her throat or do something subtle to gain the kunoichi’s attention and it would work for a little while but eventually she would go back to studying him.

Once the meeting ended she pounced, climbing over furniture to get to him. She blocked his path. He could have flickered and teleported away but he was oddly curious about what she wanted so he decided to stay. He was probably going to regret it.

“So, you and Ruki-poo snuck off on me last time.” Kakashi rose an eyebrow at the nickname she gave the other. It was bizarre but very much like Anko to call one of her close friends something ridiculous. He would remember that and possibly use it to tease him at a later date. “He was surprisingly tight lipped about what it was you two were up to- which is not like him. You better fess up!”

“To what?” He did his best to sound bored. It was working because the snake user was looking quite annoyed. “If he said nothing then there is nothing to tell.”

She narrowed her eyes. She pointed her finger at him before pressing it into his chest. “He is my family, you hear. Don't hurt him or else I will hurt you.”

“You’re acting as if Iru- Umino-sensei and I are plotting something.” He caught his slip of familiarity but he was positive she noticed. Very few things got passed her keen eyes. In that way she was very much like her former teacher.

“Ruki-poo is a great shinobi but he has poor judgement when it comes to his personal life.” She leaned in very close, her face mere millimeters away from making contact with him. “If I find out you are using him as a cheap thrill I will rain hell down upon you that not even the allied forces will be able to stop me.” Before he could respond she grinned, turned on her heel and went to go harass another shinobi. He took that moment to let out the breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. For the most part the woman was harmless but even Kakashi would admit that she could be scary- he just won't say that publicly.

Deciding he had enough excitement for one evening he snuck out before anyone else could acost him. Exiting the hospital he pulled out his book and began to walk home. He passed a row of store fronts when his eyes caught sight of that familiar ponytail exiting a bar. He found himself smiling and heart fluttering. That feeling of elation soon came crashing down when another man emerged, putting his hand on the small of Iruka’s back. That caused Kakashi to freeze in place. He felt stuck as pain washed over him. It wasn’t the kind from an injury that he was used to. It gripped at his heart and twisted it, crushing the air out of his lungs. And yet there was also a surge of anger. He felt it rippling across his skin. If he had been able to move he would have punched that man for so much as touching _his_ Iruka. His?!

Iruka turned and those kind chestnut eyes locked onto his for a brief moment. He turned to his companion and spoke. Whatever he said did not make the other happy. After a short back and forth the guy walked away. Iruka approached Kakashi holding up his hands like one would do to prove they were unarmed and harmless. He couldn’t understand why the teacher would do that.

“Kakashi, are you alright? You’re giving off an aura with killing intent.” His voice was smooth like silk and wrapped the older man in a warm cocoon. He felt able to breath again and his whole body relaxed.

“Who was that man?” His voice came out rougher than he had anticipated, biting and almost a bit nasty. He was no longer enraged but he had this overwhelming need to possess the other, or at least make it clear that he didn’t want anyone else to lay claim.

Iruka gave him a curious look. “Just some guy. I think his name started with an R… or was it an L?” He studied the other thoughtfully. Having such an intense focus on him made Kakashi uncomfortable. Soon Iruka’s eyes went wide and he grinned. “Kakashi, are you jealous?”

He blinked at Iruka. Then he blinked some more. He did not know how to respond or if he even could. Jealousy? Was that something he had ever experienced before? He rarely felt much of anything when he wasn’t reading _Icha Icha_. That brought him immense joy, sadness, heartbreak, and all the other myriad of emotions the characters experienced throughout each tale. There was that one time he was so mad he threw the book against his bedroom wall because the hero did not get the girl in the end- she chose to follow her family’s wishes instead of her heart- but he wouldn’t call that envy.

Iruka continued to grin. He leaned in closer, intentionally invading the other’s personal space in a rather obnoxious way- very much imitating how Kakashi would whenever he worked the mission’s desk. He took the other’s lack of response as his answer. “You are jealous. Why don’t we head back to my place and you have me all to yourself.” He winked at him and let out a delightful chuckle. He continued to smile as the other remained stunned. He lightly tapped his shoulder with his fist. “Relax. I’m just teasing, or maybe I’m not. That’s up to you to decide.”

On autopilot he followed the other as Iruka turned and headed towards his residence. He was still trying to process all the new and extremely mixed emotions he was feeling. The only thing he could say for certain was that being alone with Iruka made him feel relaxed, warm and fuzzy. He didn’t know how to describe it. He considered comparing it to staying in a hotspring too long but he didn’t feel dizzy and about to pass out from heat exhaustion. He did feel a bit flushed.

“I think it’s safe to assume since you’re coming from the direction of the hospital and you’re not hurt that you went to that group again, right?”

“Huh?” Kakashi blinked as his words brought him out of his introspection. “Uh… yeah. Not really sure why I went back. I don’t feel comfortable sharing or talking about myself.”

“But you shared with me.”

He looked over and saw that amazing smile on those caramel features. Seeing it made his stomach flip and knot in the most pleasant way. He felt like he could stare at that all day, melt into a pile of goo and be totally happy with it. “Well.. you’re different.” he replied honestly. “I can’t explain it. You don’t judge me or put me on some pedestal. You don’t have any expectations of me and that is very freeing. That makes me feel… I can relax around you and just be me.”

Iruka let out another one of his melodious laughs. Kakashi did not swoon. If anyone ever claimed that he did in that moment he would deny it emphatically and then murder them in their sleep. “Kakashi, I’m pretty sure you did just that.”


	10. Chapter 10

For the second time he found himself seated on the other’s living room floor. Instead of alcohol the academy instructor served him tea. Since Iruka had already seen his maskless face once before he removed it shortly after the younger man filled a cup for him. The mildly sweet aroma filled his nostrils and he savored the mellow notes as the danced on his tongue. “Is this gyokuro?” he asked.  He remembered his father saying how his mother had a passion for tea. While he didn’t really know much himself he tried to read up on it occasionally so he could have some sort of connection to a woman he couldn’t remember.

Iruka’s eyes lit up and he beamed at him. Kakashi felt his heart swell. “Close.” came the happy reply.  “It’s actually a kabusecha from the Land of Tea. Sakura and Naruto gave it to me as a present when they returned from a mission there. If I’m not assigned any missions during the next academy break I’m hoping I might be able to take a mini vacation and spend some time there.”

Kakashi took another sip as he eyed to other fondly. “I’ve never been there but Yamato told me about it when he took our former brats there. He had a thing for architecture so he was obsessed with the design of the place. Plus my father use to talk about how he took my mother there for their honeymoon; how each tea house and inn had there own unique fragrance. And even the onsen had specific tea blends mixed into the hot springs.”

He hadn’t realized that he had an almost cheesy grin plastered on his face. He was too focused on Iruka. How his eyes glazed over with a dreamy luster. He rested his chin in his palm, elbow propped on the small table. He smiled at him like one would when enjoying their favorite activity. “That sounds absolutely romantic.” The soft purr in that velour tenor went unnoticed by his brain but not his groin. “Now I think a trip there would be far better suited with company instead of solo, wouldn’t you agree?” Kakashi nodded his head like a trained seal, not even thinking or knowing what he was agreeing to. Iruka continued to grin at him. He reached out and took the ceramic cup from the jounin’s hands and set it on the table. The brush of fingers set his skin a blaze. His cheeked flushed and without his mask to shield it from view Iruka was able to see how the touch affected him. “So, care to tell me why you were jealous earlier?”

He blinked and looked away. He felt naked and vulnerable. He was uncomfortable because he never allowed himself to be. However he felt safe sitting in Iruka’s home, having to chestnut eyes stare into him more effectively than the byakugan. He didn’t know why he elicited these feelings nor why Kakashi wanted to explore them. Maybe deep down he was tired of being strong and alone; wanted to finally experience that great all consuming love affair he read so often in _Icha Icha_ and would see among his peers. He wanted to finally feel something for another. “I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.” Iruka didn’t use his teacher voice. He still kept it that sensual tone but it held a hint of command. “There is no ‘I don’t know’ here.” He scooted closer and let the tips of his fingers ghost across the other’s thigh. “Describe what you felt, what went through your mind.”

He still couldn’t look at the other. Introspection was as normal to Kakashi as breathing. However this time it was harder that any S-rank mission from his ANBU days. It meant facing his emotions and bringing them to the surface. It meant dealing and processing with what he preferred to ignore. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Pain.”The voice that came out of him was meek and Kakashi couldn’t believe he was able to ever produce such. “Not like an injury. My chest hurt and I… couldn’t breathe.” The feather touch changed and a warm hand came to lay over the stiff uniform fabric. The sudden intrusion of warmth caused him to instinctively turn his head and look at the cause. Seeing the other gently squeeze he looked up. Their eyes locked and Kakashi suddenly felt confident and sure of himself. Those pools of deep cocoa never judged, never held resentment towards him-even when he pissed him off. The only spoke of acceptance, understand and love. Yes, he could dig deep down and be honest. He could lay his cards out on the table and they wouldn’t be tossed aside. He felt this in his bones and every fiber of his being.  He never felt nor sounded so sure.

“And anger, rage even. I… he was touching you and I wanted to kill him. I wanted to snap his wrist and break every finger so that he would never touch you again.”

“Why?” Iruka voice suddenly took on a breathy quality. He kept his eyes transfixed with Kakashi’s. His skin began to flush, the soft red spreading down his neck.

“Because… you’re mine.”

“Am I?” He scooted closer to Kakashi. Hand moving up to rest on his forearm.

“No.”

“Do you want me to be?”

Kakashi felt his heart racing. His skin was tingling and warmth spread from where Iruka touched him, almost similar to pouring his chakra into him. His body leaned forward on instinct, needing to near the other. “Yes…” His body screamed the word; yearned for the other. His eyes followed the chuunin as he moved closer. Bother hands snaked up to his shoulders, slowing brushing the skin of his neck. He let out a breathy moan at the touch. He wanted more. So much more.

“I’ve never had anyone feel that way about me before.” Iruka’s voice was just as husky and airy as his own. “When I felt your aura it both frightened and excited me. It was as if you were telling that anyone who would listen _‘he’s mine’_.” Like last time Kakashi found himself being straddled by the other. Their eyes still held each other, never breaking. Kakashi didn’t find himself a bystander. His limbs acted on their own, on instinct. It was tentative at first, gloved palms laying reverently on broad hips. Lanky fingers softly kneading the cloth hidden skin before sliding up his sides.  Iruka’s fingers raked through his hair at the back of his neck. He wanted to close his eyes and enjoy the marvelous sensation but doing so would break the spell. He refused to tear his grey iris’ away. He let out a sigh that was laced with pleasure- a mixture of soothing comfort and arousal. “Tell me again,”  Soft puffs of warm air enveloped the lower half of his face. Iruka had pressed himself closer. He could feel something stiff of sizable girth pressing against him and he quivered. “am I yours?”

 _Yes, yes, yes! Oh fucking gods yes!_ He wanted to shout. He didn’t, he couldn’t. It wasn’t that he had forgot how to form speech. It didn’t want to. It needed to show him, to lay claim and make it clear what he wanted. He found himself leaning forward. His lips lightly pressed against the other’s in a closed mouth kiss. Those magic fingers tugged on his hair and he opened his mouth to moan. It was swallowed in the deepening kiss. His nails dug into the dark uniform shirt that loosely hung off the other’s form. He couldn’t fight his eyes when they slipped closed as the sensation of the other washed over him. Those expert lips were soft and malleable. Iruka’s taste was intoxicating and so distinctly him. He felt drunk off of it. It emboldened him.

He began more assertive, chasing every kiss Iruka gave with one of his own. They grew more and more fervid. His arms tightened around the other’s more stocky frame, pulling him closer, needing him. He felt hips move against him, that thick hardness rubbing against his own and making him groan.

_“If I find out you are using him as a cheap thrill I will rain hell down upon you that not even the allied forces will be able to stop me.”_

Anko’s voice rang loud in his memory. He started to come to his senses. He didn’t want to stop but panic started to set in. His once languid body started to tense. He lightly pawed at Iruka until he was able to put just a tiny bit of space between them. “Iruka… w-wait.” He had never felt nor sounded so sad stopping something in his entire life. Any other time he would halt any sort of physical or sexual contact he had no remorse. He felt nothing. But now… now he felt like he had ripped out his own heart.

“Kakashi?” Those eyes, those wonderful, gorgeous eyes with thick dark lashes looked at him with confusion. He felt like he had just kicked one of his ninken- primarily Bull or Bisuke. He gently pushed the other away.

“I-I’m sorry…” He scrambled to his feet. He couldn’t get Anko’s voice out of his head because it also made him realize that he didn’t know what he wanted from the other. Obviously his body knew what it wanted and it wanted that release desperately. He wanted to sink his teeth into the dark flesh of his neck, bury his nose in his hair and take in his scent. Sink his cock into him until he couldn’t figure out where he ended and the other began, make the other scream out his name in ecstasy until he was unconscious. But what about his mind and heart? That was where he was lost and confused and why the violet snake demon heathen’s warning was killing whatever was happening between them.

“Kakashi, wait!” Iruka looked up just as he made the hand signs for a teleportation jutsu. As the smoke and leaves swirled around in his place he never saw the anguish in the other’s eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this story's plot is making sense thus far. I only had the basic premise thoroughly thought out. Everything else is unfolding as I continue. This may or may not be the best strategy. ^_^" As long as you continue to enjoy it that's what ultimately matters.

He felt like an ass. He had acted like one too. He shouldn’t have just disappeared on Iruka like that. He should have said something, anything. Even if it was another one of his ridiculously farfetched excuses that would have been better than nothing. If he had just spoke up Iruka would have been understanding. That was one of the things Naruto constantly praised about the man. If he had just said something like ‘Hey, so even though your lips are sweet like ambrosia and I’m pretty sure that isn’t a kunai in your pants pocket, and I really want to keep kissing you right now but your crazy friend Anko threatened to kill me if I use you. And honestly this is the first time I’ve ever wanted to have sex with someone and I really want to do that with you but she scared the shit out of me and since this is all new to me and maybe I might want more than just a one night in paradise with you- and I’m pretty fucking sure paradise would be an understatement for what it would feel like to be inside you or hell even have you in me- but I think I’m going to run away now, ok? You totally didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just that fucked up.’

The man had done nothing erroneous. He offered up his home as a safe space to talk (and Kakashi totally felt that way), kissed him with that devilishly wicked mouth, and had him practically mewling from the sensation of fingers running through his hair. That act alone almost made him undone. He was such an idiot. He was even more of one for doing everything in his power to avoid the man. He had been doing this for a few days now. He couldn’t go to his favorite reading stop because it was coincidently located on the Academy grounds near the teacher’s classroom. He avoided Naruto so that way he wouldn’t end up at Ichiraku’s because he knew Iruka frequented the restaurant with or without Minato’s son. He even avoided stay at his own place, begging Tenzou to let him crash on his couch for a night or two, just in case he discovered Kakashi’s address and came knocking to talk about what happened. That just made him feel even more like a jerk. He was so deep in his evasion anxiety that he almost begged Tsunade for a mission, any mission. He was even willing to take multiple D-ranks involving Madam Shijimi’s infamous cat Tora but she flat out denied him. He was almost positive she just enjoyed watching him suffer.

“Listen brat, you only get like this when you want to run away from something.” Her ruby nails clacked on the mahogany desk top. “Clearly neither of us want Gai advocating on your behalf ever again and it’s about about damn time you faced at least one of your problems outside of the battlefield I’ll make a deal with you.” He was so desperate that he agreed to whatever she wanted before knowing what it was. Seeing her grin instantly made him regret that. “Go to the next support group meeting and when Shizune asks if you want to speak you will. You don’t have to go into detail but you are going to talk about what’s going on. It’s either this and then you get a mission or I hand you over to Ibiki and Inoichi’s daughter and you get no mission. Pick your poison.”

Either way he was going to have to talk and he was not happy. However if he participated in the group he could control the narrative versus if Ibiki and Ino got into his head. Plus Tsunade said he didn’t have to give specifics so the support group setting seemed like the lesser of two evils.

When he arrived for the next weekly meeting he wished he had gone with the second choice. Not only was Anko there yet again but Iruka was with her. He seemed a little down. Even his ever bristling ponytail seemed to droupe. He wanted to run away but Shizune smiled and welcome him. Hearing his name caught Iruka’s attention and he turned. Those radiant brown eyes were not shining as brightly as usual. A small blush dusted his face and he rubbed at his nose before looking back over at Anko. He closed both eyes and gave his patent pending eye smile and wave to the hokage’s aid before slipping into the same back corner he had commandeered last time, Icha Icha out in full view.

However he didn’t read a single word. He kept glancing over at Iruka without it appearing like he was. Every once in awhile the chuunin would throw a shy glance his way and he would immediately pretend to be more interested in his novel. He could also feel Anko’s eyes upon him and he did his best to ignore it- even though he desperately wanted to throw his book at her and demand to know what she could possibly want from him this time.

“Who would like to speak next?” Shizune’s gentle voice asked. She looked over at the silver jounin and smiled softly. “Kakashi-san, would you be ok with that?” He hid his eye roll. He knew Shizune was well aware of the deal he made with Tsunade, and the fact that he was there meant he had no choice but to contribute. But now with Iruka sitting there he felt more nervousness than he had in a very long time, if ever.

“Just skip him and ask someone else.” Anko sounded extremely annoyed. “You know he isn’t going to talk. This is Kakashi after all.” He could see Shizune frowning at her. She probably wanted to say how he would be contributing but she couldn’t do that. The whole point of the group was to offer support and for some just listening was all they needed. It would look bad as a medical professional if she betrayed his and Tsunade’s confidence and made their arrangement public.

“I never felt attracted to anyone.” The entire room went silent. They all looked around at each other, every single person thinking that they had been mistaken in hearing his voice. Shizune ducked her head and smiled. He did not move the book away from his face.

“So are you saying the great Hatake is a virgin?!” Leave it to Anko to be the one determined to pry. She was also saying out loud the idea that many of them were now toying with. He couldn’t help but grin as Iruka nudged her, urging her to be polite.

“I’ve had sex. Just because my body reacts doesn’t mean I get anything out of it.” He kept his tone bored and uninterested. “Recently I met someone… and I started to feel things.” He dared a secretive glance at Iruka. The man was a bit flush in the cheeks but doing his best to not look it.

“What kind of things?”

“Anko! Kakashi doesn’t have to elaborate unless he wants to.” Shizune sighed. She gave Kakashi a smile that said ‘Forgive her’. “Please continue.”

“That’s the problem- I don’t know.” He was still looking at Iruka from behind his book. “I’m feeling sexual desire towards them but I might also be experiencing more than that. This is all new to me so I am pretty sure I fucked things up.” Iruka was now staring directly at him, eyes ever so slightly wider than normal. A sheen glossed over them indicating a cascade of emotions behind those mahogany eyes.

“How do you know that for certain?” Kakashi paused mid page turn. Hearing Iruka’s voice surprised him. But the man was smart so he probably caught on that he was referring to him and their last encounter. He didn’t lower his book, making sure to continue his farce and also not make it known to others who he was talking about, who he was was secretly explaining his past actions to- especially Anko.

“Because I panicked and ran. I didn’t say why- couldn’t really. I’ve never been great with spoken words.” He didn’t say anymore. He put his focus back on his book and tuned out everyone else in the room. When it became clear he was done talking and not going to answer the questions a few of the other participants were directing his way Shizune chimed in and helped facilitate the conversation for the next participating shinobi. He couldn’t bring himself to watch Iruka anymore. He wanted to hide and use the safety of his beloved erotica as a shield.

He hadn’t been paying attention he didn’t know how many had spoken since his turn. Two, maybe three? He had assumed everything was leading towards Shizune’s end of session wrap up when his auditory senses fired and danced as they were caressed with the velveteen tenor that filled all the cracks in his soul. “Like Hatake-san I also met someone new recently. I tend to meet new partners quite frequently but this person was different.”

“Frequently would be an understatement. More like flavor of the minute.” Anko snorted. He knew she didn’t have any malous in her comment but Kakashi could not hide the glare he sent her way. Well he tried to hide his stare that wished her a slow and painful death for speaking ill towards Iruka, but clearly he didn’t do as well as he thought. Shizune tilted her head curiously looking at him even though her body was turned towards Iruka. Iruka was giving Anko his look that was only reserved for his more troublesome students; a look Naruto has gone on record saying meant ‘I’m not amused but I’m still going to kill you with kindness’. However after a moment he sighed heavily and leaned back against his seat. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“As Anko so eloquently put it I have a penchant to not remain with the same partner, tending to only involve myself with them for my own fleeting gratification and then leave. I’m not ashamed of it but I also know why I do it. I don’t devalue myself but I am also searching to feel more worth. All that’s not why I’m sharing.” Kakashi caught the subtle glance headed his way before the other continued. Everyone else in the room seemed to have laser focus on Iruka. Here was a man that everyone respected and the general consensus was that he had his shit together, so for him to be in this group and admitting that he whored himself around in order to fill a void seemed to elevate him to an even higher pedestal. “This new person that I met is nothing like who I normally gravitate towards. To be honest, I have always been a little bit infatuated with them but assumed I had no chance because they never showed interest beyond cordiality. However recently something changed. Maybe it was them or maybe it was me but it was obvious there was a connection and it was different from what I’ve had with others. It was stronger, deeper, all consuming fire even. I was positive they felt it too. I’m so used to only having flings that I think I came on way too strong because now they are avoiding me like the plague.” He let out a nervous laugh and rubbed at his facial scar, his face reddening. “More than anything I just want to clear the air but I’m not sure what to do.”

There was an eruption of suggestions. The members of their private circle were constantly supportive of one another but it was evident that everyone wanted to help Iruka. That was another testament of how well he was liked. Kakashi was the only one not chiming in. As they all flooded him with personal experience and advice Kakashi felt those umber pools of humaneness fixated on him. His skin tingled and his heart was racing, his brain singing about how it was intoxicated being the center of Iruka’s attention even when there were others present. He still kept his face hidden but his grey eyes overlooked the top of the novel and locked with his. Iruka continued to talk and listen to everyone, thanking them for their suggestions but their eyes remained connected.

Apparently Anko noticed her friend staring at Kakashi. She kept looking between them, her head turning back and forth from Iruka to Kakashi’s book cover and back again. Her eyes narrowed and Kakashi’s speeding heart changed its dance to one frantic with anxiety. The kunoichi was once a favorite student of Orochimaru and because of that she had a significantly sharper mind than most gave her credit for. There were more reasons why T&I liked working with her besides her intimate knowledge on the snake Sanin.

“Ruki-poo, why are you staring at Kakashi like you’re trying to will him to say something?” Kakashi swallowed hard at her comment. He was silently praying to any deity he could remember that she wouldn’t put two and two together. “It’s not like he would have anything useful to contribute.” His prayers were being ignored because her pupils decided they wanted to try to bludgeon out of her skull. She scrambled to her feet, shrieking in a combination of shock, disgust, awe and satisfaction. “OH MY FUCKING GOD! Don't tell me that you and he---”

Kakashi instantly did what he discovered he was suddenly amazing at- running away. Before she could finish her sentence and amidst the quickly growing confusion of the other bodies he went through the hand signs to teleport faster than he ever thought humanly possible. He landed in the middle of the hokage's office. This started Tsunade and even her suddenly no longer creepy shadow clinging ANBU. He approached her desk. The ANBU moved to flank her but she held up her hand to stop them, more curious than anything else. Kakashi slammed down his novel onto the solid wooden piece of furniture. The sound was sharp and was probably heard for quite some distance away.

“Mission! NOW!”


	12. Chapter 12

When he had agreed to take any mission Tsunade would give him he was desperate and not thinking clearly. The same could be said for when he appeared in her office unannounced and demanded said mission at that instant. He was also convinced the woman assigned this to him just to piss him off by being assigned the escort of a very passionate merchant representative back to Benisu Island. And by _very passionate_ Tsunade forgot to translate that as _will not shut the hell up_. Yes, Tsunade definitely had it in for him.  

At least with this man’s incessant babbling he wasn’t able to think about Iruka and the royal catastrophe that was their latest encounter. Kakashi knew he was more than likely blowing it out of proportions and exaggerating things. If he had stayed his fears probably would have proved for not. But Kakashi panicked because Anko was on the very of connecting the dots and those were dots he didn’t want connected by her and in such a public setting. He just wanted Iruka to connect them first and then not say anything about it for about fifty years before he would feel comfortable letting the rest of the world know. He’ll probably be dead by then so the math worked out perfectly. 

The man insisted on constantly talking, even when it was clear that Kakashi wasn’t listening, but because he was a good ninja he couldn’t tune out his charge. He desperately wanted to pull out  _ Icha Icha _ because he wanted to reread the blowjob scene. Hiroko was such a good royal to reward her savior. Such generosity would make her a beloved queen by her people But Kakashi was the best shinobi and that meant no reading on the job. Peacetime sucked because with no more anxiety from someone constantly wanting you dead keeping you on edge, missions like these crossed a level of utter boredom that had never previously existed in the shinobi realm. Watching paint dry or listening to Gai’s “riveting” and “youthfully passionate” delivery of the extended version of the heart sutra didn’t make him want to pluck out his eyes with senbon and then test his throwing accuracy.

And because Kakashi is the most awesome ninja alive he was able to make such a good impression on the man with miniscule effort. So much so that he gave him full size products of the island's best teas, coffee, mead and wine as a personal thank you. It would be rude to turn down free anything. He even was able to persuade the man in giving him a mokuhanga set- it was a tiny one no bigger than his palm but that was fine. Ignoring all desire to set himself on fire with a kanton had been a great decision. 

With everything packed in traveling strolls and after a couple nights rest (his charge insisted on having him be his guest and it would be rude to turn down free meals and a plush pillow to rest his head) Kakashi started to make the trek home. He took his time, which for him meant a moderately fast run instead of a full out sprint. He wasn’t chakra depleted or bleeding profusely so he wanted to savor the feeling of returning home in the exact same condition he left. Plus for once he only had one rogue ninja try to get the drop on him heading back. The sod was probably a chunnin or tokubetsu jounin at best and since word got out that he was no longer "Kakashi of the Sharingan” they assumed that meant he was an easy target. He was a prodigy long before Obito’s eye and he would continue to be without it.

 

After he reported to Tsunade (because going to the mission’s desk would mean possibly interacting with a certain sun kissed Adonis) he decided to visit Tenzou instead of heading straight home. He figured he’s share his spoils and drinks and give him the wood block printing set while he still remembered or else it could be weeks before he’d eventually give it to him. He went from rooftop to rooftop, trying to recall the landmarks and buildings of the island because he definitely didn’t recall what his patron blabbed about in order to recall to his friend.  

He landed soundlessly on the wooden balcony. It was completely Tenzou’s creation as it didn’t match the rest of the building’s exterior. He could tell the younger man was inside and with company. Without his sharingan he couldn't tell who it was. He also wasn’t a sensor. He knew his friend didn’t normally receive visitors so his only logical guess would be it as an ANBU operative with a summons. Not wanting to interrupt he decided he’d come back another time. Just as he turned to jump up back up onto the banister he felt stuck. He looked down and saw that the wood had come alive, encasing his feet. He groaned and contemplated making a small kanton but decided not to because it would almost be akin to attacking Tenzou himself.

He turned his head as he heard the balcony door open. He waved. His friend, however, didn’t appear to be in a charming mood based on the scowl on his face. He grabbed the back of Kakashi’s vest top hold him steady as he released the jutsu. “Come inside.” His rather flat tone was a surprise to Kakashi. His friend was typically on the serious side but never to this extreme unless it was on a mission. It forced him into compliance. He followed him inside, only to come to a halt in the doorway of the living room. His damascus eyes connected with the brown pair seated on the cream colored couch. He tried to take a step back but felt Tenzou’s hand grip his shoulder. 

Iruka looked away and picked up a half empty tea cup that was on the small coffee table in front of him. Given the fact that there was a pot and a matching cup meant that he was probably been the company he had sensed earlier. He watched as those strong tan fingers nervously clutch the ceramic container. Feeling the slight shove Kakashi made his way to sit in the only other available spot- next to the other. 

Tenzou stood next to the table, arms folded across his chest. His eyes were narrowed at his superior. “How was your mission?” The monotone sent a chill down his spine that made him shiver ever so slightly. He closed his eyes and let them arc into the smile his lips could not form. He let out a nervous chuckle and held the back of his head.

“Maa, boring since only one person tried to kill me.  But I did bring you a present, kouhai.” He stood up and started to reach into his side pouch. “Let me show you thi--”

“Sit.” Almost immediately he sank back down into the couch, feeling like a scolded puppy. Even Iruka was a little bit startled. The wood user let out a deep sigh and his shoulders sagged. “Senpai, you know I do not like to pry into your personal life. However you can’t keep running away and avoiding this one because it affects more than just yourself.” He glanced over at Iruka. The teacher quickly drank from his cup. “Umino-sensei came to me to try to understand your recent behavior. Honestly I was a bit appalled at his account of what transpired. That was bad, senpai, even for you.”

Kakashi glared at the ANBU operative. “You told him?!” He rarely ever got mad at him but he felt like his confidence had been betrayed. He knew it was ridiculous because Tenzou wasn’t a gossip and knew how to keep a secret better than anyone he had ever encountered. If he disclosed the details of their conversation to Iruka it was with the best intentions.

“Someone had to because you clearly had no intention based upon your current actions.” Tenzou pinched the bridge of his nose. “Senpai, Umino-sensei is a good, kind man and clearly concerned.  I only did so with the best of intentions. I will leave you two to talk. I only ask that you do not copulate in my dwelling, please.”

A thick silence filled the room as the other exited his home. Kakashi’s skin prickled with nervous energy. His stomach was in knots. He felt like he would be both sick and terrified- feelings that he was not at all accustomed to. However the other was right. He owed it to Iruka to address the massive elephant that he created. But more importantly he also owed it to himself. If he wanted to make any process in understanding himself he would have to put himself through discomfort.

“I panicked, alright?” Kakashi focused on the ground. Looking at anything other than the other would be the only way he would be able to even finish a sentence. “The hag agreed to give me a mission if I showed up to that meeting and talked. But then you and Anko were there, and she figured things out…. So I ran. I’m not proud of it but I didn’t know what else to do.”

He raised his head when he heard the soft clink of Iruka’s mug placed back on the table. He felt his heart race and sweat bead under his forehead protector. He was on edge, anxiously waiting for the inevitable barrage of colorful obscenities the chuunin would hurl at him. He deserved them all and then some. He knew his actions were weak and childish and that he did damage to whatever relationship he currently had with the other. He wouldn’t be surprised if the other wanted nothing to do with him anymore- friendship or otherwise. He deserved that.

“She didn’t figure it out.” Iruka said calmly, gently even. “I mean she did but I was able to persuade her otherwise. If you had stayed, you would have known that. But I get it. It was a lot and probably overwhelming. Having me there was probably extremely awkward for you. Anko means well, she really does. After you left I was able to convince everyone that you felt uncomfortable being so open and vulnerable; deflected everything so that it was more about the fact that you weren’t used to that type of setting.”

He blinked, looking at the other in utter disbelief. “Why would you do that?” He was genuinely in shock and curious. He thought his actions would not warrant the other to cover for him, if anything they should have made the other do the exact opposite. “You’ve opened up your home to me twice, made me feel at ease enough to confide in you... “ He wanted to say more; to tell him how his touch burned in all the best possible ways, how his lips were malleable but demanding, his taste was intoxicating and how he wanted to just spend every waking moment just touching and caressing every inch of his golden flesh. And then there was the fact that he had awoken the libido he never thought he had and how it craved carnal union with Iruka and  _ only _ Iruka.

The teacher shooted closer, his knee lightly brushing against Kakashi’s. “I meant what I said- every word of it. I like you, much more than I thought I would. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you and I must have by pushing myself on you. I’m sorry for making you want to run away. So covering for you was the least I could do.” He looked down at his hands, thumbs twiddling idly. His face was flushed a dark crimson. Those brown eyes looked so remorseful and that pained him. He didn’t understand why because in his mind he had done nothing wrong. Not one thing.

“I should be the one apologizing, not you. You didn’t do anything wrong nor did you push yourself on me.” Kakashi found himself reaching out to the other. He was hesitant because offering physical comfort was something he was not familiar with. His movements were stilted but he forced himself to place his hand over the other’s hands, awkwardly covering his fingers. It felt so foreign to him but he didn’t hate it. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away. Heaven knows I didn’t want to. But you make me feel nervous. I can’t breathe when you’re near me, my skin feels like it’s burning.” Seeing the frown forming on Iruka’s lips made him silently curse. He was failing miserably and needed to change tactics. He tentatively squeezed his hand. “But it’s a good kind of burn. When you kissed me it was like chakra jumpstarted my heart. I felt everything come alive like all my nerves were firing at once. 

“And of course I wanted to have sex, I mean that became kind of obvious.” He let his hand slowly brush up the other’s forearm. “But I also just wanted to keep kissing you, feel your hair with my fingers, watch you smile and hear your laugh. God, your laugh is like music to my ears.”

“Why did you run then?” Chocolate eyes met stormy grey. “If you were feeling like that why didn’t you say anything? I honestly thought I did something wrong to offend you.”

“It’s because I was feeling that way. I wasn’t lying in that meeting when I said I never felt  _ anything _ before. The only things I have ever truly learned about were how to kill and how to flee for my life. Those sexual partners I did have I was just so far removed mentally that it was like I wasn’t even there. It’s only recently with you that things are changing. And since I’m not going to kill a fellow shinobi I ran.” He let out an awkward laugh. “I’m probably not making any sense. I told you I’m horrid with words.”

Iruka’s hands reached up and cupped the sides of his face. This made him stop and freeze in place. His eyes were confused and darted back and forth trying to scan his features. “Kakashi, what do you want to do?” His voice was soft but firm.

“I--I don’t know.”

“Yes you do. Do you want to date me or fuck me?” 

Kakashi swallowed the large lump in his throat. He suddenly felt like he was one of Iruka’s student and being asked a test question. Was this a trick? Was there a right answer? He took a deep breath and just went with his gut. It was usually never wrong so why doubt it now. “Is it possible to have both?” The smile that spread across the younger man’s face was like the warmest ray of sunshine. Kakashi felt like one of his ninken basking in it. Apparently his answer had been the right one.


	13. Chapter 13

If hard pressed to choose which was more terrifying- squaring off against Madara and his formerly not dead best friend or going on his first official date, he would most certainly choose the date. It was some consolation and stress relief that Iruka was taking the reins by deciding the details and all he had to do was show up. That didn’t mean he wasn’t extremely nervous. What if he said the wrong thing? What if he accidentally spilled food or drink on him? What if it turned out that Iruka was no longer interested in him? These were only the tip of the iceberg of questions that were constantly rattling off in his brain.

He wanted to search _Icha Icha_ for answers. The tactics series had a whole book devoted to dating. Given Iruka’s penchant to reprimand him for reading his beloved erotica whenever in his line at the mission’s he didn’t think they would provide the best advice for this particular situation. Maybe he would subtly implement some of their methodology after he made a fool out of himself and Iruka still found him charming.

That was why he was in the book in the self-help and interpersonal communication section, staring at all the nauseatingly roseate colored tomes with ostentatious fonts declaring titles such as _How to catch yourself a shinobi_ , _He’s into you, now what?_ , and _How to attract men, not boys_. He was sweating and had to swallow the lump in his throat. Why did they all have to look so hideous and clearly be targeted to women? If he didn’t already feel pathetic for resorting to an aide book he certainly felt so at that moment.

“MY ILLUSTRIOUS RIVAL!!!!!!”

Kakashi’s eyes grew wide with horror. He was almost positive they were bulging out of their sockets. An overwhelming sense of dread and trepidation began to smother him. He wished he was a turtle and could retract himself into a shell to hide away from the world. Normally he would just be mildly annoyed at best with Gai’s trumpeted approach but factoring in just how much of a mess the man had made of his private life recently (well intentioned but still a complete and utter clusterfuck) the Green Beast was the absolute last person he wanted to see, especially looking pathetic in front of such gaudy books. But once Gai spotted him there was no sudden disappearing act that could be made without deeply offending the man. And honestly, Kakashi was a bit tired of doing that.

He did his best to not visibly cringe as a burly hand took a firm clasp of his shoulder. “Kakashi, my friend! It is always a great pleasure to see you!” He grinned from ear to ear and still managed to pull off one of his typical poses. One of the pink covered titles caught his eye and internally Kakashi started to scream. “This is not your typical literary stomping ground. You have always preferred the poetic escapism and fantasy of the creative unreal.”

Kakashi did his best to laugh nonchalantly. He closed his eyes and smiled, even holding the back of his head. “Ma… well you know our kids these days are discovering their hormones. And so I figured I’d get a book for Naruto; a type that Umino-sensei would likely approved.” He actually felt a little despicable making his former pupil his scapegoat, just a tiny bit. It was the best and most believable excuse he could devise that the other easily accept without much question.

“Ever so hip and cool taking such an interest in fostering the youth as they bloom into spring!” Gai immediately followed his proclamation with an adamant shake of his head. “However this is not the proper section. This may be more fitting for your lovely Sakura or my noble Ten-Ten, but it is ill fitted for someone as spirited as Naruto!” Before he could even get a word in edgewise, the fellow jounin began dragging him away. “COME! THIS WAY WE MARCH!”

He did his best to wave at the other patrons who stared at them oddly and politely downplay their concern. When he focused on where Gai was taking him he rolled his eyes. It was the health and fitness area- that wasn’t a surprise. However what confused him was the section he came upon. Past the human anatomy, exercise and fitness, dieting, and medical disorders there was a slightly smaller area between the vastly large pregancy and prescription drugs/homeopathic remedies. Grinning even brighter than before (which Kakashi didn’t realize was even remotely possible) the taijutsu master selected a rather plain look white paperback. “This title in particular is one that I have personally recommended for my robust Lee…” He paused for a moment, a sense of sadness damped his features. It was extremely subtle and no one other than Kakashi would have be able to notice. “And dear dutiful valiant Neji. He preferred this book over my comprehensive and dynamic lessons about blooming into one’s springtime of youth. Lee loved them but I must have not had enough visual aides for his liking.”

Hatake took the offered book and flipped it over. _My body is changing and I don’t know why- a guide for boys to understand their maturing bodies and hormones._ His eyes kept scanning the title, rereading it. He looked up at his friend and saw him giving a thumbs up. Kakashi smiled behind the mask and returned the gesture.

 

_Love vs. Lust_

_Sexual attraction can be a very complicated subject. When you start to have thoughts and feelings towards another individual (or inanimate object- that can happen) that you’ve never experienced before it can be overwhelming and even scary.  …_

_Lust and love have one core component in common: you_ _REALLY_ _like someone. The difference is the way you like them. …._

_When you interact with someone and you are overwhelmed with an intense desire to touch them, kiss them, see them naked, or to have sex, that is considered lust. It is the body’s deep primal instinct to view someone as a potential mate and pass on our DNA. …_

_… many often confuse lust with love. They can feel extremely similar. Both have the desire to be with another and constantly thinking about them. Unlike lust there is more than just the biological need for sexual gratification. Ask yourself these very important questions: Do you want to spend time with them with them at a park, watching a movie, having conversations about everything and nothing that you have in common? Do you want your friends or family to know just how amazing this person is and you want their approval? Are you missing them when you’re alone? Do you feel jealous (not suspicious) when someone else flirts when them? Does being around this person make you feel like a better person or make you want to become one? Have they told you that they like you just as much as you like them?_

_If you answered yes to all of these questions you, my friend, are experiencing the euphoria of love. ..._

 

For once Gai’s meddling proved to be beneficial. The information in that book was extremely insightful and he could understand why the late Hyuuga would have prefered this. Then again when faced with hours upon hours of your spandex clad jounin instructor explaining puberty and sex education it’s not surprising anyone other than Lee would greedily gravitate towards print.

He sat in his favorite reading spot hidden among the canopy of sakura blossoms. He used a spare _Icha Icha_ book cover to hide what he was actually reading. Even though it was unlikely anyone would see him from his perch he still had an image to uphold should he actually have to interact with someone. It was still a risk since his reading sanctuary was technically on academy grounds so he could be accused of trying to corrupt Konoha’s youth. They needed to learn sooner or later.

Hearing the loud giggles and shouts of said hellions took his attention away from his book. He peaked through the foliage and saw the future shinobi running out of the school towards waiting family members, chatting exuberantly about how their day had gone. He couldn’t help but smile- not because the sight of such enthusiasm was heartwarming. Hell no! He was grinning stupidly because leaving demon spawn meant that Iruka was done teaching for the day. He felt his heart race and body become jittery at the thought of a the chuunin sans surprisingly ingenious vermon.

He debated if he should go visit him. He didn’t really have a reason to. It hadn’t that long since their conversation at Tenzou’s and probably not enough time for Iruka to  have come to a decision  on their direction this new road of life would go. That didn’t mean Kakashi wasn’t anxious to just catch a glimpse of that bushy ponytail, that radiant smile, those sultry almond eyes, or hear that velvety rich laugh. Damn, maybe that book really was onto something.

“You truly are incorrigible. I should stop being surprised by that.”

Kakashi’s wish had been granted. He looked down and saw the fixation of his every waking thought staring up at him from the base of the tree. He could not stop the grin that formed on his lips even if he tried. The mask certainly hid it. He closed his eyes and let his delight wash over him. It was an addicting feeling he realized. 

“If there’s one thing I’m good at it’s corrupting the minds of the young.” he joked. The soft breeze carried the melody of that blessed laugh to his ears.  It created a warmth in his chest that spread throughout his body faster that even the most rapid of poisons and he didn’t care.

“I can think of something else you’re good at.” The playful tone of Iruka’s voice continued to make him smile. He always did enjoy ruffling the other’s feathers but now he discovered that he enjoyed banter significantly more.

“Oh really? And what would that be?”

His eyes tracked the teacher as he channeled chakra into his feet and started to walk up the trunk. He couldn’t help but study the other’s form, taking in the sight of him as if it were the first time looking at him. In some ways it was.  Iruka continued his ascent until he was hanging upside down from the branch directly above his head. “You’re quite skilled with that mouth of yours.”

The other’s words combined with that devilish grin made Kakashi’s heart swoon. If that didn’t sound like a line ripped out of the pages of _Icha Icha_ he didn’t know what had been the point of giving the series his devotion. He closed his book and tucked it inside his pouch before tilting his head to look up at Iruka.

“Sensei,” He took on a tone that mocked those wives of dignitaries that were easily offended by so little as a piece of lint. “are you flirting with me?”

“What can I say, you’re a horrid influence.” He pulled himself up before effortlessly easing himself to sit down next to Kakashi. “And it’s a good thing it’s after hours because I can’t have the children discover their sensei’s greatest weakness.”

“Naruto giving you an all you can eat ramen voucher?”

“Ok, second greatest weakness.” Iruka’s face flushed and he rubbed at his nose. For as bold as he was one minute he could easily become just as flustered. It was something Kakashi constantly found irresistibly charming. “But I was referring to my fondness of scarecrows.” 

His felt his heart catch in his throat. And yet it was pounding so loud he thought he could hear it. He did his best to keep in control and not show how rapidly his pulse was racing, how hot his skin was starting to feel. “Well it’s a good thing they like dolphins… or at least, so I’ve heard.” He let out a chuckled that came out a bit strained due to his sudden nervousness. The other was repeatedly making him feel flustered and the exact opposite of what Gai often called “hip and cool”. “But you can never tell with those scarecrows though.”

“No, they are notoriously hard to understand but well worth it.” Slowly Iruka slid his hand to rest on the branch. It just so happened to find its resting place next to Kakashi’s. He could feel the heat of the other’s skin through the thick worn leather of his gloves. Kakashi suddenly forgot how to form words. He looked down at the close proximity of their hands because he wasn’t brave enough to look anywhere else. “Do you think one would be interested in dinner with a dolphin tomorrow night?”

“They would make a point to be on time.”

“I hope so, but I won’t be too upset if it’s only an hour late. Scarecrows do get lost on the road of life from time to time.” Smiling Iruka let his pinky brush against Kakashi’s. “7pm at the sushi bar on the east end.” He then slipped off the branch and landed silently on the ground. Turning around he grinned at the other shinobi. “Uniform’s fine so there’s no need to fret about what to wear.” He then waved before disappearing back inside the school.

 

If that was Iruka’s idea of flirting Kakashi was going to make it a point to arrive early. He wanted as much time to devote to back and forth come-ons as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like the "Icha Icha" story that is sprinkled periodically throughout this fic, the book Gai recommended for Kakashi is my version of that type of health book. If there is a book with that same name it's purely by coincidence on my end.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a bit of writer's block with this chapter. I went back and forth between different ideas. I ultimately went with the original concept I had but in a different direction. I'm still not fully happy with this but I was really hitting a roadblock for this transition chapter. I hope this isn't too weird, OOC, and out of left field. If you didn't like it please let me know why. I am always interested in constructive criticism.

_The dense forest soon parted open to reveal the clear horizon. The warm rays of the sun shined down on the pair. They stopped at the edge of the trees, looking out in front of them. The ground beneath their feet dipped down a shorts ways ahead of them, starting a descent into the valley below. Just at the edge of the horizon they could see the outlines of a town._  

 _Jinrou squeezed her hand gently. “The town’s just a couple hours walk away.” he said. “It’s small but the people are warm and friendly. We’ll be able to get you new clothes, a soft bed and a proper meal. They’re part of a kingdom that’s allies with your own so you’ll get home safely.”_  

 _Hearing his words made her happy. Hiroko smiled at the prospect of a bath, a bed and food. However as he continued speaking her joy didn’t last. She clutched the front of his jacket tighter around herself with her free hand. The thought of them parting made her heart hurt.  She wanted to say something, to ask why he wouldn’t see her home himself, demand that he stay by her side. After everything she had been through within the last 48 hours she didn’t want to be alone, and she didn’t trust anyone other than him._  

 _She was shaken from her thoughts as she felt his eyes upon her. She looked up and willed herself not to cry, not to show any signs how the thought of them parting once they reached the village…_  

He heard it before he sensed the presence at his front door. The knocking was faint but his hearing was trained so sharp that he could heard a pin drop in the snow. He could not sense their chakra signature and he groaned. That meant the visitor was likely ANBU. Usually when they were sent to drag him to Tsunade’s office (because by that point messenger animals were plenty ignored) they usually knocked on his bedroom window. If it was Tenzou he would use the key Kakashi gave him. This was highly unusual. It wasn’t in the nature of ANBU to make random house calls.

Sighing he set down his book and made sure he was presentable- shirt with attached mask and loose sleeping pants. Normally he wouldn’t care about how he appeared when greeting his unwelcome guest. There have been many times where ANBU found him in various states of dress or lack thereof, covered in mud from roughhousing with his dogs, or even in a gown as a result of a challenge from Gai that he had won. But since he didn’t know who this person was or what they wanted he didn’t want to take any chances. That even included hiding a kunai on his person for good measure. 

He instantly regretted opening the door. Standing there was an ANBU like he suspected. He recognized the mask. His eyes narrowed as he stared at the white and red swirled porcelain modeled after a feliform carnivoran. Hyena. How the fuck did that stupid groupie figure discover his out of ANBU identity?! Well… his true name wasn’t a secret to most current or former corps. members but unless they were specifically honored with the title of being his “friend” it was not a subject discussed. It was like that for everyone. They needed a sense of self and privacy when the masks came off. Even though just about everyone who was in ANBU knew who the others were you just never talked about it publicly. You never sought out another member that you did not deem a friend, confidant, or the rarest of all designations- lover. That was the cardinal rule and this dipshit broke it. 

He kept his anger reigned in. Instead he continued to act like Kakashi by having a slouched posture and a deadpan stare. Hound would have quickly gone into action putting him in his place. But he was no longer Hound, hadn’t been for years, and had no intention of returning to that persona. “Can I help you, ANBU-san?”  He made it sound like he was confused by the other’s presence and bored with him at his door at the same time. The mask showed no emotion but he could feel the other’s chakra spike when Kakashi played dumb. Not only was this pissant breaking code but he was probably unhinged. Peachy! 

“Hound…” 

Kakashi tilted his head to the side in a way that mimicked his ninken and looked even more baffled. “Who? I’m sorry, ANBU-san, you must be mistaken. Please enjoy the rest of your night.” He bowed politely and tried to close his door. When a hand jutted out and prevented that Kakashi was internally screaming and foaming at the mouth. This was definitely starting to scream elite assassin with a few screws loose. It wasn’t uncommon for an ANBU to break but it usually happened immediately after a mission that went to hell in a hand basket worse than a snuff film or when the armor came off. This was different and far more dangerous.

“ANBU-san, I really do think you are mistaken.” 

“Why him?” Alarm bells were ringing loudly in Kakashi’s mind. He didn’t show it because he didn’t want to set off a clearly unbalanced shinobi. “I can do so much more for you than some lowly teacher.”

The alarm bells turned into a blaring siren. How did he know about Iruka? It wasn’t a secret that they had been acquaintances previously due in part large to Naruto being a common bond, but it was only recently that things began to change. There was no way anyone would know what was going on between them because what had transpired happened mainly behind closed doors. Even the last time they saw each other their flirtations had been indirect as had Iruka officially asking him out on a date. They had been hidden from sight due to the large drooping canopy of the sakura tree plus no one else was around to witness their interaction.  

The only way Hyena would have know was if he had been following Kakashi. The sheer thought of this man stalking him and possibly Iruka made him both sick to his stomach and see red at the same time. He narrowed his steely eyes and sprang into action. He really missed having the sharingan because putting him in a genjutsu would have made detaining him so much easier and a hell of a lot faster. Instead he had to rely on his taijutsu. He would really have to get Gai a gift card worth a year’s worth of curry from his favorite hole in the wall because all their sparing and challenges made his skills in this area far better than when he had been in ANBU. It also helped that the other was sloppy and wide open due to being off his rocker. 

He definitely went too far by breaking an arm, fingers on both hands, and his nose, dislocating his jaw, fracturing some ribs, and cracked the mask with a few good swift kicks to the head, but he didn’t care. In his mind he let the crazier fucker off easy. Once he had beaten the other well into submission he frisked the bloody, bruised and unconscious man for chakra wire. He hog-tied him and teleport them both to Tsunade’s office.

 

 

He wasn’t surprised when the hidden guards came out of the shadows with blade drawn at him. Tsunade startled awake from her drunken doze and her eyes went huge. “HATAKE!”  Her amber gaze went immediately to her soldier hanging limply at from his grip on the wire. He tossed the piece of garbage at the base of her desk like a sack of potatoes. The ANBU moved to detain him and he let them. “What the fuck?!” 

“He showed up at my door looking for Hound.” He said flatly. He could feel both of his captures tense. Clearly that didn’t sit well with them. “Apparently he’s been stalking me and possibly Iruka-sensei.” The fact that he addressed the chuunin by his first name wouldn’t have gone unnoticed by the godaime if not for the fact that her most powerful shinobi assaulted one of her agents and beat him to a bloody pulp.  

She let out a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Let him go.” Immediately the two guards release Kakashi and he rubbed at his wrists. He forgot how much those gloves hurt against the skin. She gestured to Hyena. “Take him to the lockdown wing of the hospital. Contact Nightingale treat him, as well as Ibiki and Ino.” Without another one of the guards immediately vanished to retrieve the individuals Tsunade wanted summoned, while the other not so gingerly hoisted the bound man before disappearing.

Tsunade picked up her sake bottle from her desk. Realizing it still had some liquid he downed what remained. She stepped around her desk and stood in front of Kakashi. She assessed him, noting the dark bruising around his right eye, the cuts and scrapes to his forearms. The tear in his mask and semi-dry blood from the cut to his exposed bottom lip. Once she was satisfied she drew back her fist and decked him hard. She then sighed again and pointed to the chair in front of her desk. Silently he sat down and watched as she knelt in front of him. She activated the mystical palm technique, letting the soft bluish green light of her chakra encase her hand before hovering it over his injuries. 

“So… Umino-sensei?” A smirk tugged at her painted lips. “An odd choice and I feel a bit sorry for him, but ultimately he’d be good for you.” Kakashi let his eyes cast downwards. He felt himself flush. Even if she wasn’t healing him there was no hiding his emotions from her. She was too keen on things like that. “That’s still no excuse for what you did. What on Earth possessed you to do something so reckless?” 

“Like I said he admitted to stalking me. Somehow he knew about my interest in Iruka. He broke code approaching me without permission and the thought that he was a potential danger to Iruka… I couldn’t let that happen. I would do it again.” He made no bones about the latter. If Hyena or anyone threatened the teacher he would make sure they would regret it and never get the idea to do it ever again. He was quickly discovering that he was fiercely protective of him. _His_ Iruka. 

“You will not.” Her voice was a bit more stern. “You will call for backup and restrain until they arrive. You will not subdue a fellow shinobi into submission like that ever again.” She finished healing his face. Her ruby nails wrapped around his chin. “You know I will have to take disciplinary action.” Taking his silence as a yes she let him go and continued her treatment. “But at least it was better you than Naruto. I’d hate to think what he would have done.” 

Once she was satisfied with her work, she stood but and leaned back against the desk. She stared down at him and crossed her arms under her bosom. “What is your relationship to Hyena? I need to know why something like this happened.” 

“There is no relationship.” Kakashi was adamant about that. The look Tsunade gave clearly said she wanted more information. “He admired me while I was in ANBU. He joined a couple years after sandaime relieved me of regular service. You and I both know of the rare occasions I got called back. He had heard all the stories about Hound from the others and so he admired me. But it wasn’t the same as Tenzou. He was like a horny groupie that wouldn’t go away. He was infatuated with the idea of Hound.” He paused for a moment. He felt shame coming on as he thought about what he was withholding from her. He heard her clear her throat and he took in a deep breath before continuing.

“I got tired of him coming on to me. So when there was downtime on a mission together I let him give me a blowjob just to shut him up. I thought by doing that it would satiate him and he’d move on.”

“Clearly you were wrong.” she interjected bluntly. He didn’t responded- there was no need. “I will need to have Ibiki and Ino probe Hyena to corroborate your story. I doubt you are lying so I better not find out otherwise. Until I receive their report you are to be placed under house arrest.”

Panic coursed through Kakashi’s body. House arrest meant he couldn’t leave his apartment. If he couldn’t leave that meant he wouldn’t be able to meet up Iruka the next evening. If he doesn’t show up for their dinner arrangement then he’ll lose his only chance to explore his changing feelings for the other.  He felt his chest tighten and his pulse race. He suddenly couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t he breathe?!

Tsunade was stunned witnessing the other’s change in demeanor. She decided to take some pity on him. She wasn’t as cruel as he let on. She had been in love once and she genuinely liked Kakashi… she just would never voice it out loud to anyone, ever. She leaned over and rested her hand on his shoulder. She sent a small wave of chakra to help calm him down. “I will allow you to send your ninken out for errands like groceries and you can have one visitor other than Tenzou.” She gave a knowing grin. “I think I know who that person will be.”


	15. Chapter 15

He wasn’t happy having ANBU stationed around his apartment, forcing him to stay inside. Even though he was more of a solitary creature he wasn’t a homebody. He enjoyed being outside and not confined to four walls. Since he went onto so many missions and was rarely ever home for more than a couple weeks at most, aside from his library collection (that he’d already reread multiple times) he didn’t have much else in the way of entertainment. Word of what happened didn’t stay secret amongst the ANBU because when he returned from the hokage tower he found a stack books on his doorstep and a couple more on his window sill. Obviously they were sympathizing with him.

After a rather lackluster night’s sleep, Kakashi sat for a while contemplating how to let Iruka know that he had to cancel their meeting that night. He really didn’t want to but there was no way he was going to be able to sneak out and fool his guards. They were being nice to him by supplying him with new reading material and even a bag full of dog toys and treats there was no way they would defy their orders- even if it was becoming clear they agreed with what he did that got him in his current predicament.

He summoned his ninken to keep him company and also let them enjoy their new gifts. He had thrown a tennis ball from his bedroom down the narrow hallway for a few hours before becoming bored. He reached over into his nightstand and pulled out the pad of paper and pen he left there for when he would need to take down or pass instructions between ANBU.  He scribbled down a note but tried his best to make it slightly more legible than usual.

_ Can’t make it, kind of a long story. Dinner at my place instead? Ninken can take you. _

He took a deep breathe as he examined his message. He was suddenly feeling nervous but inviting him over was only option aside from standing him up. Even with his legitimate reason he doubted Iruka would be so understanding. He put two fingers between his lips and whistled for his pack. All but Bull and Pakkun came charging in. The large bulldog had been sleeping at the foot of the bed, Pakkun resting on his head. Both lazily looked over at Kakashi.

Kakashi looked at the rest of his pack. “Uhei, Akino. Go to the Yamanaka’s shop and get some flowers that look nice. If they ask, just say Mr. Ukki is lonely.” The two looked at him funny but didn’t say anything. He then looked at those who remained. “Urushi, Shiba.” Shiba jump up onto the bed while Urushi walked over to the side and nudged his boss’s foot. Kakashi wrote another note and attached it to Shiba’s vest. “You two go to the market and get someone to help you get the items on this list. And be quick about it. Don’t get distracted by the live lobsters or else you’ll be on training duty with the Aburame clan.” Both animals made soft whimpering sounds before nodding.

He motioned for Bisuke and the small mut lept onto the covers. He folded the first note and secured it onto the inside of his hitai-ate. “Make sure Iruka-sensei gets that. Distract him for a couple hours then lead him back here. He’ll think you’re cute so hopefully that works in my favor. Understand?” The pup nodded. “Guruko, I need you to find Tenzou and tell him please for the love of all that is holy keep Gai away from here tonight. I don’t care what favor he wants in return. Just make him promise to keep my place Gai-free.” He then got off the bed and opened his window wide enough for the ninken to leave from.

A low and gruff coughing sound caught his attention. He turned and saw that Bull was now facing him and seated at attention. Pakkun was staring at him as if he were the most uninteresting thing he had ever laid eyes upon. “And what do you want us to do, boss?”

“You two are to help make sure I don’t embarrass myself.”

“A little late for that, pup.” Pakkun snorted. Kakashi simply rolled his eyes.

“This is crucial. Iruka is very important so I can’t screw this up. I want Bull to help tidy up any messes you all made today- and don’t tell me Shiba and Urushi didn’t make any.” He wanted over to the pair. He lifted Pakkun off the bulldog’s head. He gave his gentle giant a quick scratch behind the ears then set Pakkun down on his bed. “And you have the most important task of all, a job I can only trust to you.” Seeing his first ninken looking confused he smiled. “Pick out clothes for me to wear that aren’t my uniform or will make me look stupid.”

“So nothing from spandex.” Bull barked in agreement with his alpha’s statement. “Now boss, since you are making us do all this work you better give us steak.” Again Bull barked.

“I included that in the grocery list.”

  
  
  


Kakashi was pacing around his kitchen, nervously checking and double checking the meal he prepared. To say that he was nervous was beyond an understatement. This was more than just jitters, a feeling he hadn’t felt since the first day he met his father’s summons. His stomach was in knots, his palms were sweating, and his pulse was racing. He wiped his hands on a dish towel for what felt like the hundredth time. 

His ninken were scattered throughout the tiny bachelor apartment. Uhei, Guruko, and Akino were sleeping on the couch, Bull doing the same but on the floor next to it. Pakkun was seated on the kitchen counter while Shiba and Urushi were on the tiles, all three watching their summoner fretting like a girl with a crush.

“Relax both. I’m sure this Iruka-sensei chick will love the flowers. Chicks like flowers.” said Urushi.

“Stupid! Iruka-sensei’s a guy.” snapped Shiba. “He’s Minato’s son’s favorite human.” The dog looked up at Kakashi. “Not that he doesn’t like you too, Boss.”

“Not offended.” he replied. “As long the kid doesn’t hate me is good enough.” 

All the animals’ ears perked up. The napping trio suddenly sat up. Kakashi stopped his pacing and froze in place. He could sense Iruka’s chakra and hear the soft clicking of Bisuke’s nails as he walked. His eyes grew wide and he started to feel panic set in. His mind started running a mile a minute.  _ What if he doesn’t like the food? What if he thinks my place is too small? Why did I get such a small place?! What if he finds me boring? Is he going to be expecting something to happen afterwards? _

He felt a tiny warm pressure on the small of his back. He looked over his shoulder and saw that Pakkun had placed a paw on him. “Boss, breathe.” Because of how gruff the pug always sounded it seemed like a command more than a helpful suggestion. “Everything will be fine. Biscuit brain brought him. The hard part’s over.”

His oldest summon’s words didn’t alleviate his anxiety but they did ease the tightness in his chest a bit. He took a deep breath and ran his hands over his bare face. “Alright you lot, scram.” he said.

“But steak!” both Urushi and Shiba whined at once.

“Tomorrow. Now go and don’t come back until I summon you.”

The two whimpered loudly, over exaggerating on purpose. Pakkun jumped down and sat at attention next to Kakashi. “Alright, you all hear the Boss!” One by one each animal disappeared in a puff of smoke. The pug nudged his leg. “You got this. I’m glad you finally found a mate.” Kakashi was left a mixture of flabbergasted and speechless as he watched his pack leader vanish as well.

His attention returned to his door when he heard the teacher’s sweet laughter, though muffled from being outside. He straightened his shoulders and made his way to his front door. He opened it, earning a startled yelp of surprise from both the other man and his youngest summon.

“Look, Boss! I brought him just like you asked!” Bisuke was always over exuberant and in constant need of attention. He then turned to Iruka and pawed at his leg. He then yipped happily as he was picked up. “We also had fun today, right Iruka-sensei! We played fetch and tag with his school kids, and they gave me lots of tummy touches! Then he gave me some chicken and even more tummy touches! Iruka-sensei gives the best ones!” 

The brunette blushed and then let out a laugh as the dog began to nuzzle his jaw and lick his cheek. “Bisuke…” he wheezed. “I’m sure Kakashi gives much better rubs.”

“Nuh-uh! He might give good ear scratches but he doesn’t rub my tummy like you do!”

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at his summon. While he was happy that Iruka and his summon had hit it off which gave him hope for a similar outcome with the rest of his pack, he could not help but feel incredibly jealous at how much of Iruka’s attention was being monopolized. And he knew Bisuke was doing it on purpose. “I wish he’d rub my tummy instead.” he muttered softly under his breath.

Iruka looked over at the silver haired man with apologetic eyes. “I had lots of fun with you today but now it’s Kakashi’s turn to have all my attention. That is why he asked you to bring me hear, correct?” He smiled at the animal and gave him a hug before setting him down. Bisuke whined and pouted but ultimately relented, even though it was rather reluctantly.

“I like him, boss! Make sure I get to play with him again real soon!” The glare Kakashi gave him before he vanished in a puff of smoke caused Iruka to laugh once more. The teacher had to wipe at his eyes. 

“I don’t know who is worse now when it comes to me- you or Naruto.” His tone was light and cheery.

“I bet Naruto doesn’t cook you dinner… or get you flowers…” Kakashi mumbled the last part, suddenly feeling awkward now that he was finally rid of all his summons. The light that filled Iruka’s eyes made him wish he wore his mask at home. He was certain that his face was bright red like the hair of the kaze and mizukage.

“Well, are we going to stand in your doorway all night or will you invite me in to have a taste?” The wink he gave made the older man flush even more. He quickly stepped back and allowed Iruka to enter his apartment. There wasn’t much to see. It had the default cream colored walls that all the units in the building had, and only the minimally required furniture to function. Since he was rarely home he didn’t see a need to decorate. There wouldn’t be anyone around to enjoy it.

Nervously he walked past Iruka to grab the bouquet of camellia, primula sieboldii, and morning glories. He looked away from the other as he thrust the bundle into his hands. “I don’t know much about flowers so I just had Uhei and Akino tell the Yamanaka what to get. They really like this kind of stuff. I couldn’t go pick them out myself or else I would have…” He rubbed the back of his head and let out a nervous laugh. He gave the other a shy glance just as Iruka brought the bundle up to his nose and inhaled, eyes closed.

“They’re beautiful.” The smile and flush gracing those tan features made Kakashi want to melt in place. “And no, Naruto doesn’t give me flowers.”

“I’m glad you like them.” 

Kakashi let out the breath he hadn’t realized he had held and laughed sheepishly. He then turned and went into the kitchen. He then stopped and beckoned the other to follow. He busied himself with setting his humble table and refused any help Iruka tried to offer. He was secretly trying to show off and woo the other with the plating and presentation. He remembered how much Minato and Kushina would argue over the importance of how food looked but even she had to admit that the extra effort Minato made on their special anniversaries would make her swoon when she normally wouldn’t care about placement.

The tactic was working. Iruka’s eyes were as wide as saucers as lots of little side dishes of grilled eggplant, pickled daikon, fishcake and fried tofu were all set before him. They grew wider as miso and rice followed, and then in the center of the table he placed a large plate salmon and tuna tataki sashimi.

“Kakashi! This-- this is just--” The teacher felt like the concept of human language was failing him at that moment. His face and neck were reddening and he felt warm and fuzzy. Never had anyone gone to such lengths for him. And this was something he never would have expected from the older man. Truth be told he had absolutely no idea what to expect.

“Sorry this isn’t all that great. It’s all I could put together last minute.” 

Iruka watched as the other laughed sheepishly, casting his gaze down at the table. “Last minute?!” That concept was hard for him to grasp. In his mind this was elaborate, but if it was hurried for Kakashi he couldn’t even phantom what he could whip up given enough time to plan. “This is… wow! I didn’t know you could cook like this. I’m lucky if I can make a decent hot pot.”

“Minato-sensei and Kushina taught me. They wanted to give me some sense of normalcy and real world skills outside of the shinobi life. Minato-sensei always cooked to decompress from missions so he wanted me to have a similar outlet. My pack are usually the only ones who get to benefit from it on a regular basis... and occasionally Gai. He did help me expand upon Kushina’s curry recipe.” 

Seeing the other blush made Iruka smile. It felt good to have someone want to show off for him- and clearly that’s what Kakashi was trying to do- but it warmed his heart to know something new about the other. To see a side of him that very few people ever saw. To be reminded that it was more than just his reputation as an elite killing machine- that he was a human being just like everyone else. Iruka reached out a hand and placed it over his. “I hope I get to benefit on regular basis as well.”

  
  


Dinner went far more smoothly than Kakashi had expected. He’d shared plenty of meals with Iruka before in the past but they usually centered around Naruto- with or without the young man being physically present. Now this was just about them and there wasn’t the awkwardness he had been dreading. It probably helped that Iruka was a natural conversationalist. He had always been a people person and easy to talk to. That’s probably why he was beloved by so many.

At one point during their meal Kakashi pulled out a chilled bottle of plum wine, much to Iruka’s delight. But it was almost soon forgotten as they got into a rather animated discussion about  _ Icha Icha _ of all things.

“I never would have pegged you as someone who’s read the series.”

“Just because I don’t read it in public like you doesn’t mean I haven’t.”

“But you always yell at me for it.”

“Because there were minors nearby! And your favorite perch just so happens to be on the academy grounds. Of course I’m going to yell at you about it.”

“You’re training them to be shinobi. What’s wrong with exposing them early to fantastic literature?”

“We already teach the older students about sex education and sexual violence. The new chuunin even get an expanded refresher course.” Iruka sighed heavily and held his head.    
“Besides… there’s so much better out there than  _ Icha Icha _ .” The clank of Kakashi’s chopsticks hitting his plate caused Iruka to look up. He couldn’t contain his smirk as he watched the jounin’s jaw go slack and hang open a bit. “Would you like some reading recommendations?”

  
  


The evening continued to exceed Kakashi’s expectations. After their meal was finished (much to his dismay as he was in love with the others moans and other happy noises about the food) they still continued their conversation. Kakashi didn’t have any living room furniture so aside from his bedroom his kitchen was the only other place with adequate seating. He would have prefered his bed as it was significantly more comfortable but he wasn’t sure how appropriate asking to move the conversation there would be. As he was clearing the dishes the one topic he had been dreading and hoping to avoid was finally addressed.

“So… what’s this long story you mentioned in your note?” Iruka asked. He had been insistent in helping Kakashi clean up and they compromised on him drying the dishes while Kakashi washed. He took a sip of his wine and leaned back against the counter. “I’m not complaining about the sudden change of venue but you have to understand why I would be curious.”

Kakashi gripped the dish he had been holding. Letting out a sigh he set it down, raised his hands, and turned off the facet. After drying his hands he reached over and grabbed Iruka’s glass, downing its contents amidst the other’s half-hearted protests. “I’m under house arrest at the moment.” The shocked look and gasp the other made forced him to quickly continue before Iruka could say anything. “Formality mainly because I beat an ANBU- who totally deserved it by the way. Tsunade said it’s just until they get confirmation that my actions were justified, which shouldn’t take more than a couple days max.”

He turned back to the the faucet when a tan hand grabbed his arm. “You attacked an ANBU?!” Iruka didn’t shriek but it was clear in his voice that he was having trouble comprehending the situation. “What on earth possessed you to harm one of our own?! You had to have a reason because that isn’t like you to do something so… disloyal.”

Kakashi stared down at soapy dish water. “I could say it’s complicated and leave it at that but to me it’s pretty cut and dry. I just can’t tell you his code name or any descriptive details about who he is, stuff like that.” He looked down at the hand that gently squeezed his bicep. His gaze trailed up and met brown eyes that weren’t filled with judgement but rather openness and a willing to understand the situation. “He idolized me to the point of sexual fanatic. I didn’t know how deep it went at the time when I gave in to his pestering just to get him to shut up. Hadn’t seen or spoken to him for years since- never liked him then and wanted nothing more to do with him.”

He paused, trying to think of how to choose his words carefully. He was no longer in ANBU but that didn’t mean he could divulge secrets or in turn break code like Hyena had. He also knew he could trust Iruka. It wasn’t just because the man had one of the highest security clearances for someone of chuunin rank.  _ He _ could trust Iruka. He felt extremely secure with that statement, that anything he shared in confidence would stay as such. Plus he couldn’t leave this last part of what happened unsaid. It was the main reason why he was confined to his apartment.

“In ANBU identity is important. Not just protecting it like most regular shinobi think, but also being able to keep your non-ANBU self separate and your own. You need to be able to take off the mask and be truly be yourself. Unless someone give another ANBU permission it’s rule not to interact outside of a mission. He broke that.”

Iruka’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I can completely understand that. I know it’s nowhere near the same level but it’s like Iruka-sensei is separate from the me at home; the me behind closed doors. But that doesn’t mean I can just freely assault someone who can’t discern the two.”

“That’s not why I did it!” Iruka’s eyes grew wide in surprise hearing the other snap. He let his hand fall to his side and he took a step back. Realizing what he had done, Kakashi quickly reached out for him, invading the other’s personal space. His normally cold slate eyes were brimming with emotions, expressiveness Iruka had never seen from the other before. He could sense from the other’s chakra that he was panicked, afraid even. “He showed up my door, knew who I was. But he knew about you… and questioned why I was interested in you like he was some jealous ex. A shinobi unhinged coming after me is one thing but to target someone I care about…” All of his emboldened courage seemed to deflate and he couldn't keep eye contact with the other anymore. He let go of the other and held the back of his head, laughing nervously. “Tsunade was none too pleased when I showed up in her office and tossed him at her feet like a sad sack of potatoes.”

The chuunin stayed silent as he processed everything the other said. He had been confined to his own for assaulting a fellow shinobi, who just so happened to be obsessed with him. Not only that, he was stalking him and Kakashi made it clear he was following Iruka as well. “So… let me see if I understand this correctly. You intentionally got into trouble in order to protect me?” Seeing Kakashi nod in response wasn’t enough of an answer He cupped his pale chin and tilted his head so that they were looking at each other once more. “You beat the shit out of someone because you were afraid they’d come after me?”

There was no mask for him to hide behind. He was also tired of doing that. He wanted Iruka more than he ever wanted anything in his entire life. He wanted his warmth, his humor, his compassion, his lips, his touch, his scent, his respect, his love. The only way to have the younger man given him his most honest and truest parts of himself was to do the same. “And I would do it again.”His voice sounded just as sure as it had been in the hokage’s office. He stepped closer, leaving only a hairsbreadth between them. He knew his skin was just as flushed as Iruka’s looked. He wondered how far down in went on his form and just how warm was it to the touch. He could see Iruka’s breathing hitch and he felt his blood rushing to his ears, pounding rapidly with his ever increasing pulse.

“I didn’t ask you to do that. And I certainly don’t want you to do it again.” There was no malice nor judgement in his tone. Instead it sounded airy and rough around the edges like he was having trouble trying to form a coherent thought. “But truth be told that’s the sexiest thing anyone has ever done for me.” Seeing the slight tremble race down his spine was the unspoken cue Kakashi needed. He closed what little space remained between them as he captured the other’s lips with his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Flower meanings](https://www.tsunagujapan.com/10-beautiful-japanese-flowers-and-their-meanings/)
> 
>  
> 
> I know I don't have a set schedule for uploading (not a fan of those) but this did take longer than I had wanted. The combination of work, not being happy with how the chapter was initially going, and medical stuff kept throwing roadblocks. Still not fully thrilled with it but I always think I suck at writing transition/set up chapters. ^.^;


	16. Chapter 16

The match had been struck, lighting everything a blaze. A flurry of passion and overwhelming emotions drowning them. One kiss turned into many. Chaste became lewd. Gentle touches quickly grew to fevered exploration. Bodies pressed against one another. Teeth nipping tender flesh while tongues danced. Fingers raked through coarse silver and silken chesnut. 

A soft hiss brought Kakashi out of his euphoric daze. His eyes filled with concern and he stepped away, thinking he had done something wrong. Caramel fingers stronger than their appearance latched onto the hem of his shirt. Muddy eyes shining with a multitude of emotions bore into his soul. Not letting go Iruka used his strong legs to push himself away from the sharp counter that had annoyingly dug into his lower back. He set about capturing reddened kiss swollen lips once more and Kakashi greedily responded. 

The other man let himself walk backwards as the other took steps forward, wanting to both close the distance between them and get out of the kitchen. He didn’t even notice his own hands untying and aimlessly tossing Iruka’s forehead protector. Nor did he complain as those normally chalk and ink stained fingers bunched up his shirt. His moan from feeling contact along his stomach and sides was swallowed by the other. 

Unconsciously he blindly guided them towards his bedroom. He let his deadly fingers snake under his uniform shirt and he reveled at the feeling of warm taut skin underneath. Hearing the other making a lewd noise from the action emboldened him. Instead of the pads of his digits grazing him he let his palms caress over his his abdomen, along his sides, up and down his back. When those touches were reciprocated he paused and let himself get lost in the feeling. He had never felt so good, so euphoric, in his entire life.

Not satisfied, Iruka reluctantly left the other’s lips to trail his own down Kakashi’s jaw. He nipped and suckled playfully at the mole on his chin. He let his tongue taste the skin of his neck as he explored what actions would elicit the most sounds. He felt like he was getting drunk off of Kakashi’s rapid, shallow breathing, the flushing of his pale skin, and the sensation of his touch.  Once they crossed the threshold of his bedroom Iruka’s libido went into overdrive. He caught sight of the bed and not so gracefully pushed him onto it. He let his lips form a predatory grin as he watched Kakashi fall back into the mattress. The wide bewildered eyes, pupil blown large, the soft rose dusting across pale cheeks went straight to his groin. He tore off his shirt and blindly tossed it away as if the fabric had burned him. His skin was burning, but with need and desire; aching and begging to touch and be touched. He quickly climbed onto the other, straddling him, making sure he felt the friction of their trousers against his painfully hard groin. He shivered as an equally hard length brushed against his own.

Kakashi let out a silent gasp as he felt hips grinding against his own. He was feeling a surge of electricity jolting his system in a way that nothing his nature affinity ever produced. This was foreign in him, all consuming, but in a pleasant way. His senses were alive and screaming for more. More of this pleasure. He reached up and pulled the other down towards him, needing to kiss those fuller lips once more. They were sweet, savory, bitter, warm and perfect.

When fingers started to undo his pants, he was quickly brought back to down from cloud nine to the harsh reality of their current situation. They were moving fast and towards a direction he wasn’t sure they should go yet. His body clearly wanted to go there- the blood rushing to his groin was screaming at him for it. He wanted it and that was something he had never experienced. It was terrifying him once his brain started to function and realize it had no idea how to process the overwhelming amount of sensations.

“...Iruka…” he said once he was able to catch his breath. The other’s mouth still continued lay claim to him, deciding to give attention to his neck and collar. Kakashi called his name again, a little louder this time, less winded sounding. In response he felt teeth nip at his adam’s apple and a tongue sooth away any pain. Hearing the fly of his pants coming undone caused his hands to immediately grab the younger man’s wrists, halting them any further.

Iruka blinked and sat up. He looked at the other’s eyes. They were still wide but instead the look they gave was a different type of bewilderment, one that sent a sharp pang to his chest. “Oh fuck…” He forced himself to look away, unable to wash away the sense of shame that was building over him. “I didn’t mean to… oh god!” 

“Iruka…”

He quickly and ungracefully got off of Kakashi. “I--I should go. I’m so sorry.” He felt a panic tighten in his chest. He was an idiot. A huge, libido driven idiot. He really liked Kakashi, a lot actually. They had become good friends before and the idea of become more had always been an unspoken desire he never admitted to himself that he wanted. When Kakashi confided to him about his sexuality issues as well as his attraction to him, Iruka swore to himself that he wouldn’t mess this up. He understood that this was huge for him, and Iruka also knew that he wanted to break old habits because Kakashi was worth it. He felt like there was a chance for both men to discover what they both needed from each other. But he had fucked it all up because the man was a fantastic kisser and he was too weak to fight his overactive sexdrive.

He jumped, startled as he felt a hand wrapped around his wrist again. He looked over to see that Kakashi had sat up. His grey eyes were focused on him and his lips were pursed together. He tried to pull away but the other held him in place. This caused him to cast his gaze downward again, embarrassment flushing his features.

“Don’t go.” Kakashi’s voice was soft, almost a whisper. “Please.” Iruka almost thought he misheard him. It sounded so small, like one of his students when they were scared or upset and were trying to muster the courage to speak up.

“But Kakashi I…”

“Please.” He had never begged or pleaded for anything in his life. Not even to Jiraiya for a chance to read one of his original  _ Icha Icha _ manuscripts. There was never such a sense of desperation in his voice of filling up his entire. The thought of Iruka leaving tore at his insides in such a painful way that his mind could not help but conjure of an image of Rin at that moment. He knew this wasn’t her. Iruka was not her. Nothing in this situation should have remotely reminded him of her but it did. His hands started to shake, trembling as they did once when he finally notice her blood on his hands. That was the last time he had ever felt scared. 

“Hey…. it’s okay.” Iruka’s voice was soothing and gentle. He blinked and looked up when he felt warm palms cup his cheeks. “I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to push you.” Normally chalk and ink stained thumbs gently swept under his eyes and that’s when he noticed the feeling of wetness on his skin. Were those tears? Why would he be feeling Iruka’s on his face? When he was pulled into a hug and continued to hear those soft words of apology it dawned on him that those tears were his own. His fingers curled around the other, almost clutching him, and he felt his heart rate calm but his body tense at the same time. This was something foreign to him; this desperation to not lose yet another person he became invested in.

He took a deep breath in order to regain his composure. “You didn’t push me.” Slowly he pulled himself out of the embrace. He let his rough hands trail down the other’s arms until resting on top of his fingers. “I just…. I’m not use to feeling like this. To wanting someone. Both emotionally and physically.” He looked away and tried to laugh off his nervousness but it probably looked just as awkward as it felt. “I guess I can see how my trying to tell you to slow down could seem like I panicked. I seem to do that alot around.”

Iruka shook his head and could not help but laugh as well. “Stupid jounin and their lack of communication skills.” He looked down at their hands and laced their fingers together. “Seriously Kakashi, we need to work on that.”

_ We? _ Kakashi was honestly a bit taken aback. He clearly thought that Iruka was just being polite at this point and would eventually not want anything to do with him after this. The man did admit to him that he had wanted explore what could develop between them and have be more than what either were used to. Kakashi didn’t want to believe in it, didn’t want to get his hopes up because he was a realist and way too hard on himself for his own good. He didn’t want to believe that something he genuinely wanted could actually come to fruition. Losing every single person you cared about tended to have that effect. But now with the war over and Tsunade not so subtly hinting about stepping down he was starting to want, to hope, and to dream for things outside of the pages of a book. The one thing he wanted more than to reread his beloved tomes at that moment was Iruka.

He squeezed the younger man’s hands gently and smirked devilishly. He was starting to like the feeling of indulging into a desire other than fiction. “Spend the night.

 

\--

 

His eyes flew open and his body tensed as he registered an unfamiliar weight partially on him. He slowly turned his head and forced himself to relax. Iruka was peacefully asleep, head resting on his shoulder.. Tan limbs were draped across his torso and thigh as if he were the other’s personal body pillow. It was still unfamiliar since he had spent the majority of his life sleeping alone or out in the field. Even he and Rin never shared a bed past any sexual act.

Iruka’s sleeping face was serene and Kakashi felt like he could stare at it for hours. Even when he had the sharingan he could not recall a more beautiful sight. The man looked so peaceful and content snuggled against him. The sight gave him a sense of wonderment and fright. He wasn’t used to causing someone such unadulterated bliss- at least that’s what he inferred from the other’s relaxed and unguarded state. Kakashi was fascinated with the rise and fall of his chest, the soft sounds of his breathing, the way the hues of their skin were both a stark contrast to one another and yet melded together seamlessly. He felt like he could watch him sleep for eternity and never become bored.

A soft tapping made him brought his focus back to his surrounding. He glared in the direction of his bedroom window. When the tapping repeated he let out a soft sigh before looking back over at Iruka. The other was still deep in sleep. That annoyed him because what if there had been a real threat and he was unaware, but he was also moved that Iruka trusted him so much so quickly to let himself be at his most vulnerable. He softly brushed a few strands of dark hair before gently peeling himself away. An upside down cat mask stared at him blankly from the opposite side. He recognized that it was Tenzou immediately. He lifted up the window and winced when it creaked. He quickly looked over at his bed and thankfully his companion wasn’t disturbed. He slipped outside and sent chakra to his bare feet as he followed after Tenzou to the rooftop of his building.

“Hokage-sama has made a ruling.” he said softly. Kakashi wasn’t surprised that a decision happened quickly. Things do get expedited when your best warrior tosses a bruised and bloody comrade at your feet and confesses. 

“So when do my adoring fans get to go away?”

The masked Anbu shook his head. “Are you really that confident she ruled in your favor?” When Kakashi stared blankly at him he sighed rather loudly. “Senpai, you’re a smug bastard you know. Everything you said was verified and deemed correct. Hyena will be placed in the hospital under Ibiki’s supervision until Hokage-sama decides on the best way to help him heal mentally.”

Kakashi nodded his head. “Good.” He turned and started to walk away.

“I’m not finished, senpai.”

The former sharingan user silently cursed. He was disappointed that he wasn’t able to quickly return to his bed with the warmth and comfort waiting for him in the form of an academy instructor. He did his best not to look as pissed at he felt. This was probably one of the seldom times he was ever genuinely upset to be talking to his kohai. He turned around and smiled. “Please, continue.” Without his mask to hide it his “cheery” demeanor made Tenzou visibly shiver. Apparently he would need to work on concealing his emotions without aforementioned fabric.

“While Hokage-sama has decided not to press any charges against you she has not deemed you free from punishment. This afternoon you are to report to her office where she will inform you of what it will be. Her exact words were, and do forgive me for saying such things senpai, ‘Make sure that pencil dick brat knows that he needs to be standing in front of my desk at 15:00 exactly or else I will override Jiraiya’s will in giving him the publishing rights to  _ Icha Icha _ upon his coronation as my successor’.”

The former sharingan user completely ignored anything else Tenzou had to say. His brain was still trying to wrap his head around the most amazing bombshell he had ever heard. Well, second best after Iruka agreeing to explore whatever it was they were doing. Jiraiya, his literary hero and uncle like figure,bequeathed the entirety of the his most famous masterpieces and the rights for continued publication to him.  _ HIM!? _ That was such an honor that he didn’t feel worthy to have. Preserving and continuing on the  _ Icha Icha _ legacy would not only be the most difficult task of his life but also the single most important. 

This would be the rare exception that he would not be late arriving to the hokage’s tower.

  
  


He silently climb back through his bedroom window. The smell of brewed tea hit his nose before he was able to register that his sleeping companion was no longer in his bed. Curious he kept his chakra close to him and he made his way towards the kitchen. He leaned against the doorframe as he watched the other, still shirtless much to his delight, putzing about his kitchen. He could not help but grin. This domesticity was something he wasn’t used to but he knew he wanted it to be.

“I hope you don’t mind me using your kitchen. I wanted to make breakfast as a thank you for dinner but I honestly have no idea where anything is here… I could only find a kettle.”

The voice startled him from his hazy daydream of more mornings with Iruka in his kitchen. He blinked and let his chakra flow return to normal before moving towards the other. “How did you know I was there?” He was curious how the chuunin had detected him. Most jounin couldn’t do that. Only Minato, Tenzou, and Tsunade could but they knew all his tricks or wear just extremely good at guessing.

Iruka smiled as he held out a freshly prepared cup. “You do know that I teach pre-genin, right?” There was a lightness in his tone that just accentuated his silky voice. Kakashi did his best not to sigh like a stupid girl in love with her crush. “My senses had to fine tuned to anticipate their tricks. Once a prankster always a prankster so I know how they think.” When their hands touched as Kakashi took the drink the teacher’s face flushed. He looked away and rubbed at his facial scar. “Plus… you weren’t there when I woke up and the window was open. There wasn’t a note so I figured you’d come back eventually.”

“Sorry about that. A messenger stopped by and I didn’t want the conversation to wake you.” Kakashi took a sip then sat down at his dining table. Iruka quickly look over at him, concern evident on his face. He smiled and motioned for him to join. “You probably want to know what it was about.” 

Iruka quickly shook his head, stumbling over his words. “N-no. I mean, I shouldn’t.”

“It’s okay.” Kakashi reached out to touch the other’s fingers that were fidgeting along the porcelain mug. “I want you to know. After all, it is an update as to why I asked you to come over in the first.”

“Oh.” The teacher’s eyes lit up as realization dawned on him. “OH!” A crimson flush spread across his face, racing down his neck and stopping just above his collarbone. Kakashi lets his eyes blatantly wander as he drank it in. He wanted to cement this this to memory so that the next time he teased the other in public he would know exactly how far his blush went.

“I’m in the clear, just like I had assumed I would be.” He leaned back in his seat, not even trying to hug how smug he must have looked. He knew he would have been cleared and was glad that Tsunade agreed with him.

“I sense a but coming.” Kakashi was shocked at just how perceptive the other truly was. He knew Iruka had to be to some degree give his profession. He just didn’t know to what degree and he had a feeling he would learn rather quickly.

“She still thinks I need to be punished.”

“As you should be.” Iruka’s posture changed. No longer was he fluttered but more like he was in the missions room about to give a small lecture to  genin and chuunin that forgot to fill out a report properly.  “No matter how right you were what you did was extremely dangerous, idiotic, and barbaric.”

“But you said it was sexy and it got you kissing me. I really like kissing you and want to do more of that right now.”

“Kakashi, that’s not the point!” He pinched his nose and sighed. “Did you find out what the punishment will be?”

“Not yet. I have to see her this afternoon to find out. She put a stipulation to make sure I show up and I will say it is quite effective.” At seeing the other’s confused expression he continued. “She’s claiming Jiraiya gave me complete control over the Icha Icha franchise but I can’t get it if I’m late today.”

Iruka could not help but roll his eyes. His lips cracked a smile. “Oh heaven forbid no more stupid smut novels.”

“They are not stupid smut novels. They happen to be great contributions to the erotic fiction genre. And I plan to continue Jiraiya’s legacy with a whole new series.”

“Is that so?” Iruka leaned forward and let his fingers brush against the other’s hand. His smile changed into a rather mischievous grin. “Maybe I can help you find some quality inspiration.” Now it was Kakashi’s turn to flush. He didn’t look away, refused to in fact.He felt his skin heat up under the other’s touch. His stomach fluttered in that annoyingly pleasant way and he felt blood rushing south of the equator. He mirrored the other’s expression. 

“Oh sensei, I thought you’d never ask.”


End file.
